The Secret Love Affair
by sailormoonlover
Summary: Kagome finds an online site called TinierMe. Addicted to the time she spent there, she chooses not to let her friends go, when rumors of the virtual world possibly shutting down is spread. This story follows her as she reminisces about her youth days to the present day. It recounts days of her friends, but most importantly, it follows the story of her mysterious love affair.
1. Chapter 1

Author's Note: Hey everyone, I hope you enjoy this fanfic, please let me know what you think, thanks! And no, of course I don't own Inuyasha. Enjoy!

* * *

 **Part 1: TinierMe**

When does love begin and when does it end, if it ever ends? What does heartbreak feel like? What about the pain of longing for someone? When does a person realize that they are in love?

These are all questions that I used to wonder; the me who so ignorant of love back then.. The me who never believed in love, yet preached it because of what I'd seen in fairy tales, novels, etc. It all began when I met him. Him. Him, who could twist me around and around his finger. Something I thought wouldn't ever be possible, became possible. Falling in love, feeling the longing, feeling the pain; believing in this endless false hope and traveling alongside it. Perhaps it was love, perhaps it was loneliness that made the two of us cling to each other so? Perhaps it was the three years he waited for me, the years that he wanted me to feel?

It all started when I found out about the site, the site that made avatars possible. You could create your own version of yourself. Dress yourself up really cute, have any username you wanted, and go anywhere (digitally) that you wanted without reality biting your butt. In essence, you could create a new you; be someone without labels slapped on you and interact with people from all over the world. Yes, I'm talking about the iconic, famous, gaming world of Tinierme, before it shut down.

* * *

On my bed I sat, probably 15 or 16 years old at the time. Picking out my newbie outfit with my name "Priestess" picked out. As the days passed. I started learning more and more about the site, things like: where to shop, which places were the best for fishing, what Gatcha coins were and how they worked, which places were the best for hanging out.. I had these things memorized like the back of my hand. I met many, many friends. Some came from the United States, Korea, Japan, Philippines, etc. You name it, they were there, at all hours of the day and night, just enjoying themselves.. Something we've seem to forgotten how to do.

I had joined a group, where as members, for a joke, we named the founder of the group "father". His friend, the co-founder was our "mother", despite being a male. We as members would meet up in the ChibiPet Area, beyond the gate. Set up as a starry room, with two benches on the lower left and right sides, avatars, also called "selfies" could pick a seat and sit, talking in the Selfy Town (virtual world) for hours on end. Some actually left their selfies in Selfy Town all day, sitting or standing idly all over the Selfy Town. The ChibiPet Area, in my opinion was the most beautiful room, filled with color and stars virtually twinkling as your ChibiPets followed your selfies. ChibiPets were pets that you could equip to your selfie, feeding them, washing them, etc. Besides the ChibiPet Area, there were other rooms like the Chat Room, the central point of the Selfy Town. Or you could go fishing in rooms like the Gourd Pond, Shallow Beach, Rickety Rope Bridge, etc. Or in special events, you could go to the Ring Gate where the selfies would raise up their rings to "ring" each other. Such was the world of Tinierme, abbreviated to "TM" for the long-time members. Going back to the story.. I remember sitting on one of the benches inside ChibiPet Area, waiting for the other members of "Anime, and All Things Cosplay Group" to show up.

"Priestess!"

Looking to the entrance, I smiled as a familiar face popped into the room. "Mother!"

"How has my little Priestess been?"

"Well. How have you been mother?" He came over to the opposite side, sitting down. Looking at his outfit today, he had decided to dress his selfy up in a black and white hakama, a black sword dangling on his back, accompanied with tabi shoes. His hair, which was green in color, reached below his waist, tied by a white ribbon in the back.

"I have been well too. It's too bad about this group.."

"Why? What has happened?"

"The numbers are decreasing daily.. Looks like people have just started losing interest or something in TM. The numbers for our group and the numbers of people actually playing online here have been dropping like flies.."

"Could it be.. Due to the Gatcha prices going up? As the price goes up, more people want those fancy outfits but don't have real-life spending money.. It would be easy to imagine why people would start envying those with money and flashy outfits.."

"That's the point. Pretty soon.. Rumors say they'll even shut down this site."

"That can't be.. Why? We've been here for a good two years now since it started.. What will happen to us? The selfies? The money we spent? The friends and memories we made?"

"... It'll disappear. If this site shuts down, its inevitable that everything will disappear. Gone, in an instant.."

My head spinning, I stopped typing into the private chatbox to think about what Mother just revealed. Gone? My selfie? My wardrobe of priestess costumes and paper talismans? Everything I had built here, the group I considered my family.. Just gone?

"Oh! Priestess! Mother!"

Looking toward the entrance, "Sango" came bounding into the room, running her selfy behind my place on the bench, eventually sitting herself down next to me.

"Oops! Haha! I meant to hug you but ended up sitting here."

Smiling to myself, I remembered how Sango was like a sister to me. Here in the group since day one with Mother, Father, me, Kirara, Shippo, and Miroku. Seven people who all put so much effort into making the group, just to watch it possibly shut down.

"If only I could really hug you, I would.." I replied, staring at the green apron around her white kimono. The sleeves hiding the black fingerless gloves she often wore with her large surfing board over her back.

"So.. That means.. Possibility is high, huh?"

"Yes.. Much so." Mother replied, letting the silence hang in the air.

"Where's Father? Everyone else?" Desperately wanting to change the subject, I inquired about something else, anything to change the feeling of my heart slowly sinking.

"Father has.. Disappeared. Among the many others, he's one that has vanished."

"Mother, you mean to say, he's abandoned us? TM? But he's the one who started this group!" Sango yelled, echoing my thoughts.

"I know.. But perhaps.. He like the others.. Just got tired of it all. The endless jealousy, the fight over nicer costumes due to the jealousy.. He's left us." Just like that, silence hung in the air once more. A selfy we hadn't noticed, wearing a cat costume to hide their entire body, walked over, stopping just short of Mother. We watched as it started to use the selfy's cry button, large blue drops cascading left and right of the costume, its head bowing down. It was only then that the username that had been hidden by the costume came into view. Kirara.

"Kirara. Crying won't help. If it's this site's destiny to shut down; we have nothing we can do."

"But Mother!"

"No Kirara. Stop crying. Your sisters haven't done that.." Mother stood up, walking to Kirara, patting her head.

"Should we just call this meeting over early?" Miroku appeared in the entrance, wearing his purple priest outfit as normal.

"Why be sad? The time we have left.. Should be spent in happiness, right? If they are to be our last memories of each other.. Shouldn't we make the best out of them?" My red leg-length skirt brushed the grass as I stood up, standing by the left of Kirara.

"Priestess is correct." Sango said, quickly getting up and standing behind me.

"Raise your ringing hands if you all agree, then." Miroku said, raising his right hand in the air. In less than a minute, we had all thrown up our hands, determined to make the best of it.

* * *

Later that night, after I had signed off for the night, I looked up at my ceiling. Wow.. It's been two years. I'm now 18 years old.. Saying good-bye to a community that I finally belong to.. I don't know if I can.

"Kagome! Are you still up? Go to bed!"

"Ah, yes! I will Mom!" I called back, careful not to wake up Sota, my younger brother as he slept in the other room. Putting my computer away, I made a handwritten list of who I planned to say good-bye to. Then realizing it, I realized that I could also ask them for their contact information so that we could keep in contact even if the site did shut down. Hitting myself on the forehead, I realized how stupid I was.

"Of course! Duh! Yup, I'm an idiot. This family, won't just break up like that. Not if I can help it." Smiling inwardly, I continued making my list, before reaching up to turn off my overhead light, falling asleep quickly.

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End of chapter one. Thank you for reading! Please tell me what you think and if you'd like to see this continue~! Thank you!


	2. Chapter 2

**Author's Note:** Hey everyone, I hope you enjoy this fanfic, please let me know what you think, thanks! And no, of course I don't own Inuyasha. Enjoy!

* * *

 **Part 2: Colliding of Reality and Virtual World**

"Ah.. I can't believe time has passed so fast. We're already graduated and all. What college did you eventually decide to go to Kagome?" Yuka asked while stretching out on my bed, the magazine in her left hand flopping onto the floor.

"Skidmore College.. Due to financial aid, they gave me the lowest prices so I eventually picked there." Sitting on my desk, I shrugged off the feeling of whether or not I'd regret my decision later in life.

"Skidmore? Competitive place with an acceptance rate of 40%." Eri tsked, looking out my window to the yard below. "Lucky girl."

"Lucky? Pure intelligence that is! As for me, Clark University will have to do." Ayumi smiled. "Afterall, it was my first choice. I love my family and all but New York just isn't where I plan to live my whole life.. Massachusetts is the life, and I plan to experience it."

Looking around the room to my three friends, a small smile appeared on my face as well as I realized this was probably going to be the last time we hung around my room like this. As soon as graduation had ended, we were already talking about going our separate ways; two of us going to college while the other two chose to work, and then if they needed to, they would continue with their education later on in the future.

"Any boys, Kagome?" Eri smirked, looking over at me. She leaned down, picked up the fallen magazine and sat down next to Yuka.

"Education is more important. Where would I find the time for boys?" Shaking my head, I laughed at Eri's unrelenting character. "Besides, if I ever find him, my first boyfriend is to be my last. He has to be special enough to be my only man."

"Of course! Of course! The pure girl, who never kissed a boy and all, obviously wouldn't have time for that." Yuka bounced on the bed, picking up a pillow and throwing it at Ayumi.

"Pillow fight!" Ayumi cried out. Picking up the pillow that had hit her on the shoulder, she tossed the pillow at me, who in turn threw a back pillow at Yuka.

* * *

Later that night, after the girls had left I opened my computer, signing in as Priestess. After changing my selfie's clothes, I proceeded to ChibiPet Area, where I knew the group must have been waiting for me.

"Sorry! I'm late today!" Entering through the gates, I saw Mother sitting on the right bench, wearing the same outfit as last night. Sango sat next to him, Miroku standing behind her. On the left bench, Kirara still in her huge cat costume, sat with Shippo.

"Nearly everyone today. Just not Father, huh?"

"Don't count on him to show up Priestess. You'll be disappointed." Mother stated briefly.

"You say that.. But you're checking on him.. Rather his profile page every day, aren't you Mother?" Sango asked, backing me up.

"Is it wrong to want to know how everyone is doing? I don't think there's any shame in admitting you did so mom." Shippo murmed.

".. As my children, I am still here for you.. However long that will be. For your father, that's grown-up business. Don't worry."

"Mother, you do realize that most of us here are teens, right? Probably even adults! We're not children.."

"Rebellious Priestess, my beautiful daughter.. Listen to Mother this time. Have I ever steered any of you wrong?"

"I guess not." Miroku interrupted me. "However, Father.. um, that man.. If we see him again.. I'm not forgiving him that easily."

"Haha as my older son, I guess you'll be in charge from now on?"

"Count on it Mother. Count on me." Miroku started jumping up and down, in what I can only presume was the "jump" button for his selfie to show his joy.

* * *

And as the days went by, Miroku did carry out his task being the new leader of the family very well. He made sure all the members were at the meetings, he checked in with members to see their will in continuing with the site, and he encouraged us when more and more people started leaving the site.

* * *

"Priestess! They're holding a Hatsune Miko concert again!" Miroku one day said in a private e-mail. Since Selfy Town started looking more and more like a ghost town, I had begun losing hope in the chance of the site continuing on. I felt the end was inevitably coming and it started crushing my heart to see the once alive virtual world becoming so empty.

Quickly replying back, I wrote, "Really? Why?"

"I'm not sure. It may be their last attempt at seeing how many active members there are left on TM."

"Where is it? I'm gonna go there now."

"Outdoor Stage. A lot of people are here now."

Exiting the chat message, I opened the screen for Selfy Town. I clicked on Outdoor Stage and within minutes, my computer screen was filled with a new image. An image of a big stadium in a field of grass, surrounded by fans as a selfy version of Hatsune Miku stood on stage singing to the beat. Seeing the group there, we gathered within the sea of selfies, all shouting and cheering on Hatsune Miku.

* * *

More and more concerts would come, making the end seem like groundless rumors. The end however, was inevitable, always hiding in the dark, waiting for its time to shine.

* * *

 **Author's Note:** Hey everyone, thank you very much for reading! As always, **please leave your reviews** on what you think about what you've read so far. Would you want to see more? Please favorite the story or feel free to hit the "follow" button for me, so you'll be notified first of any new stories. Thank you guys again!


	3. Chapter 3

Author's Note: Hey everyone, I hope you enjoy this fanfic, please let me know what you think, thanks! And no, of course I don't own Inuyasha. Enjoy!

* * *

 **Part 3: Exchange**

The bad news came on November 9th, 2012. TM was fated to shut down. In an email, I read the apology to all users, an apology that was about a paragraph long saying a short farewell and thanks to all its remaining supporters. I immediately signed on as Priestess, going into Selfy Town to see those supporters talking about the news. The topic in my group was non-stop about the closure of TM, leaving us with about a month left to say goodbye to your friends.

Having made a separate email for this occasion, I began to ask the group if we could keep in contact after the site closed. To my surprise, all them agreed. Quickly jotting down their emails, I would later add them to my contacts list in my gmail.

I began exploring Selfy Town, looking for more users who hadn't abandoned the site. Looking, I suppose, for people whose friends had abandoned them. After all, I knew the feeling of being abandoned on TM and wanted to make sure those people could have a friend to talk to about the site. If they wanted a friend, that is.

While searching, I came across many people that I also added to my contacts list. My general theory was that if I approached them nicely; I could ask them if they wanted to exchange emails. Most people responded positively, having never thought of keeping in touch after the site went down.

That's when I met him.

Leaving Selfy Town, I noticed an active profile page. I guess what attracted me to his page, amongst others, was his username and the unique way he had dressed his selfie. His name, "Inugami", roughly translated to "dog god" suggested to me his interest for anime and the Japanese culture. His casual style of mixing and matching the popular clothes with the newbie pack of clothes showed me that he didn't like to follow the crowd. While he could be spending his remaining time in Selfy Town, he was online, but not interested in following the crowd. He was independent, and I knew right then that I wanted to make him my friend. I just hoped he would be okay with it.. So I sent him a private message, it read:

 _"Hey! My name is Priestess. Would you like to be friends? I'm making new friends and exchanging emails. Would this interest you?"_

 _Almost immediately, he replied back with, "haha sounds fun. Yeah, we can be friends. What's your email?"_

And so, that's how we became friends. In the month that we had left, I spent most of it with my group at ChibiPet Area, roaming the now empty Selfy Town and private messaging my new friends who had exchanged their emails with me. I was super confident for the closure of TM, which finally took place on December 10th, 2012.

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Author's Note: Hey everyone, thank you very much for reading! I know this one was short, I'll try to have the next part up as soon as possible! As always, please leave your reviews on what you think about what you've read so far. Would you want to see more? Please favorite the story or feel free to hit the "follow" button for me, so you'll be notified first of any new stories. Thank you guys again!


	4. Chapter 4

Author's Note: Hey everyone, I hope you enjoy this fanfic, please let me know what you think, thanks! And no, of course I don't own Inuyasha. Enjoy!

Side note: "Normal parenthesis" means that someone is talking; " _parenthesis italicized_ " means that it's a message- email and _parentheses italicized and underlined_ is Kagome's thoughts during that moment or her reflecting back on that scene. As always, enjoy!

* * *

 **Part 4: New Beginnings**

Although I was pretty sad after TM closed down, I did keep to my promise of keeping in contact with my friends. It was an amazing feeling when we could comfort each other and be there for one another, updating each other on what was happening in real life. That period of time, I was getting ready to enter into Skidmore College as a freshman. It felt surreal; that a huge part of my life was now going to be missing as I made my transition to another huge part of my life. Eri, Yuka, and Ayumi were all becoming busy as well, excited about their transitions to their adult lives. I was too, don't get me wrong. Everything was just changing so fast.

Although my life as Priestess was officially over, and I had said goodbye to that version of me, I was still getting thrown into that role when I replied back to emails from my friends from TM.

" _Priestess! How are you today? Oh! I miss you so much! I'm dying of boredom over here.._ " Sango would usually start off our conversations this way followed with, " _My little brother is complaining so much because he can't use TM._ "

" _Priestess! How have you been? You eating alright? Enough? Exercising well? Keeping in contact with us?_ " Miroku would say, taking his role as the next male in the family very seriously. Checking up with me would be his usual messages, as well as updating me on the rest of the group.

" _Priestess, I'm so boredddd_..." The youngest in the group, Shippo would complain, with most of the group reassuring him that they felt the same.

" _Priestess, Mother will be busy in the weeks to come. I have a new job that I'm currently pursuing. How has my daughter been_?" Mother, although busy, would check in with us briefly to see our situations.

Leaning back in my chair, I sighed. _Seems like everyone's busy_. Real life seems to have taken over when TM quit on us. Closing my eyes briefly, I listened to the sound of mother cooking dinner, of Souta playing basketball outside, and of the TV changing channels as grandpa tried to find an interesting program.

Opening my eyes again, I resumed looking through my inbox of mail, stopping short of the name above the email address, "Inuyasha Taisho." _Inuyasha? Do I know an Inuyasha?_ I wondered. Scratching my head, I pondered over whether or not to open it. When I finally decided to, it read:

" _Hey, this is Inugami. How have you been?_ "

 _Oh, so his real name is Inuyasha_.. Quickly typing back, I wrote:

" _Good! How have you been?_ "

I didn't have to wait long for his replies, he always replied back very fast. Sometimes, I wondered if he was replying from his phone, or if he was waiting for my replies.

" _Great. wyd?_ "

" _Relaxing at the moment. You?_ " Not used to using acronyms at the time, I got the hang of them pretty quick.

" _haha same. You said your name was Priestess?_ "

" _Yeah, that's my name :) I'm pretty bummed that TM closed down. I had such hopes that they wouldn't. But now everyone's busy, you know?_ "

" _Yeah, I get you. What was your favorite part?_ "

I would proceed to tell him all about the group, the members and how we were still very close. For some reason, he was just very easy to talk to, and we just clicked the moment we met.

" _What about you? What was your favorite part?_ "

" _The people. They were from all over, so it was nice to meet so many people we wouldn't otherwise meet in real life_."

" _That's true! Like how I met you lol._ "

On and on, we would continue to introduce ourselves, never giving away any personal information. Just information on likes, dislikes, what we envisioned for our futures. In a sense, we were getting a good grasp of the other's personality and character. What made each of us tick, while at the same time talking about who we were on TM. What sort of things, people or places that we collected, saved, bought, and visited in TM. There was never a dull moment when getting to know this guy in between my summer days before I entered college.

One day, quite curious about his personal life, I asked him a personal question:

" _Hey, Inugami, cool guy like you, you must have a girlfriend, right?_ "

" _Yes._ "

" _What's she like? How tall? How old? Her personality?_ " Call me a curious cat, or just a bored individual, but I wanted to be able to envision the girl that would fit this friend of mine. What exactly did she look like, and how did they begin? So many questions I had, and so much time an email would take to answer them all.

" _She's amazing, the most nicest girl you could come across. She's Asian, skinny and just so beautiful. I fell for her the instant I saw her. haha you're so curious_."

 _Asian?_ I blinked surprised. _I'm Asian too!_ Quickly replying back:

" _She's Asian? Such a coincidence! I'm Japanese lol xD._ "

" _What? Really?_ "

" _Yeah lmao."_

" _I didn't know that lol._ "

" _What about you? I know I don't ask personal questions but now, I gotta know.._ "

" _tbh, black, and a bit Greek._ "

Pausing at the computer, I closed my eyes to try to picture them together. _Hmm I didn't know that._ Quickly replying, I wrote:

" _Really? I didn't know that! Well, you're very blessed then ^_^._ "

Hearing mother call me for dinner, I typed " _brb_ ", before hurrying into the kitchen. _What a wonderful beginning to a great friendship._

* * *

Author's Note: Hey everyone, thank you very much for reading! I know, a bit of a character change in the story, Inuyasha is black; I was just inspired to. I hope you guys don't mind! And if you do, no one is forcing you to read. As always, please leave your reviews on what you think about what you've read so far. Would you want to see more? Please favorite the story or feel free to hit the "follow" button for me, so you'll be notified first of any new stories. Thank you guys again!


	5. Chapter 5

Author's Note: Hey everyone, I hope you enjoy this fanfic, please let me know what you think, thanks! And no, of course I don't own Inuyasha. Enjoy!

Side note: "Normal parenthesis" means that someone is talking; " _parenthesis_ _italicized_ " means that it's a message- email and " _parentheses italicized and underlined_ " is Kagome's thoughts during that moment or her reflecting back on that scene. As always, enjoy!

* * *

 **Part 5: Moving In**

As time passed and I got busier with college, I started doing the inevitable. I put my online friends on hold to focus on my studies and college friends. In particular, I remember the first person I met during my freshman orientation. Her name? Kanna. Kanna was quiet, a very quiet girl ever since the day I met her. When everyone was excitedly viewing the campus, seeing the new dining halls, and forming cliques, Kanna was sitting alone. In my earliest memories, Kanna had her iPad out, idling her time away on it for hours on end. Deciding to approach her I said,

"Hey! My name is Kagome. What's yours?"

Looking up at me, her expression blank and emotionless she replied, "Kanna."

"Since we're both new.. Wanna be friends?"

Simply nodding, she returned to her iPad, clicking open the Akinator app. To this day, I'm still not sure why I did it, but I accompanied her throughout the summer orientation and became her new roommate.

Moving into the dorm room that hot summer day, I pushed my luggage up two flights of stairs, opened the door and continued my trek down the hallway to my room. The first thing I saw, that sent a cold sweat down my sweaty back was Kanna, standing in the doorway.

"Oh! My! Kanna? You scared me, haha." _What was she doing there? Was she waiting? But how would she have known that I was coming now?_ Shaking away my thoughts, I smiled and walked up to the door, peering at the "200" hanging off the door.

"I knew you'd come. Wasn't it nice of me to open the door for you and.. " She trailed off, her eyes darting over to the people behind me.

"Oh! Um, this is my mother and my brother Souta. They're helping me move the luggage." Moving past Kanna into the room, I started moving my things onto the other unoccupied bed.

"I see."

"Kanna? Nice to meet you." Mother said, cupping Kanna's hands around hers. "Its Kagome's first time, please do treat her well."

Kanna looked down at mother's hands briefly, before slightly nodding. Mother then left with Souta to the car to get the other luggage cases. Noticing her gaze turn on me, I smiled over at Kanna.

"Nice room, huh?" I asked nervously.

"Hm." She moved to sit on her made bed, pulling out her iPad. And that was how I met my roommate. The whole of my freshman year would be spent with Kanna in the mornings and evenings. Sticking closely to my side, she would say things here and there. However I learned very fast that she didn't talk much. During the nights, I would briefly check my Priestess email to give quick replies to my online friends.

" _How's college? You're not working yourself too hard are you? Although Mother is busy, I'm still worried._ "

" _lol you worry too much Mother._ " Mother got busy when he found himself a second job, something that I knew he would do, being a workaholic and all.

" _Priestess! Miroku asked me out today. I don't know what to say back! It's so awkward... We're supposed to be siblings!_ "

" _Sango, you're siblings in the group, not in real life, silly xD. Accept him if you want to.. Reject if you don't want to. Don't keep the guy waiting._ " Not an expert in relationships, it was easy for me to give advice like these, with the vagueness unintentionally attached to it.

" _Priestess, has Sango come up with a decision yet? She's all avoiding me, its hard to tell.. Can you tell her that I'm willing to wait for her?_ "

" _Ok Miroku, will do. However, don't force my sister. If she says no, you'll back off, right?_ " Smiling, I couldn't believe that a couple was going to be formed in this group! A couple! And me, a new matchmaker. _It has a good title_ , I thought.

" _Of course, I respect her decision. Oh, by the way, Shippo and Kirara have been busy recently with high school. They may not respond for some time._ "

" _Understood, thanks Miroku. Honestly, I may fall under the same situation soon as college for freshmen is said to be tough.._ "

" _Haha. You can do it Priestess. You've gotten this far!_ "

" _Thanks! I'll try lol._ "

"What are you doing?"

Jumping in shock, I turned around, coming face to face with Kanna, who had been peering over my shoulder.

"Kanna! You scared me."

"Well?"

"Replying to friends" I said, pulling the screen on my laptop down and closing it.

"This time of night?"

"Yeah. They're from different places, so different time zones.. Weren't you sleeping?"

"... couldn't sleep." Turning, she walked back to her bed and sat down.

"Sorry to hear that.. Did you try warm milk?"

"No. Kagome, did you make any new friends in classes this week?"

"Ah yes! In my computer science class.. His name was.. Naraku? I believe?"

"Naraku? The man you were eating with this morning?"

Surprised, I said nothing for awhile. _How did she know that? I thought she was in class?_ "Um, yes. That's right. That's him."

"Hm. Goodnight."

"Goodnight Kanna." Watching her turn over, I lifted the screen once again to check for messages. _Miroku hasn't replied yet, huh? Oh, but there's an email that just came in from Inugami._ Quickly opening it, it read:

" _Hey. wyd?_ "

" _Hey ^_^ Its nighttime over here so I'm replying to my emails before heading for bed._ "

" _Oh. Can't you stay up?_ "

" _Can't sorry, I have early classes._ "

" _Yeah its understandable. Did anything exciting happen?_ "

" _Besides my new roommate Kanna? Nothing._ "

" _Kanna? What happened this time? haha_ "

" _She just scared me. Thought she was asleep, but suddenly she was right behind me and asking me what I'm doing up. My god, I jumped out of my seat._ "

" _Scaredy cat."_

" _Not funny lol. Oh! And I met a new friend this morning at breakfast._ "

" _Oh?_ "

" _Yes, his name was Naraku, I think. I noticed that he was in my computer science class and decided that I should introduce myself and become friends with him. Who knows? Perhaps he can even help with homework lol._ "

" _Must be some kind of friend if you don't even remember his name haha._ "

" _Ah, you're gonna laugh at me over that too? Geez its not funny. I just have a bad memory when it comes to names and numbers lol. I'll verify tomorrow. What about you? What did you do today? Anything exciting?_ "

" _Not really, just went to school and then watched a movie with my girlfriend._ "

" _Isn't it nighttime over there too? What're you still doing up?_ "

" _Gaming._ "

" _Gaming?_ "

" _Madden._ "

" _Oh lol. Well have fun with that, I'm heading to bed._ "

" _Goodnight Priestess._ "

" _Goodnight Inugami._ "

With the final email typed, I closed down my laptop and headed to bed. Reaching up to turn off the lights, I slipped beneath the bed sheets and fell fast asleep.

* * *

Author's Note: Hey everyone, thank you very much for reading! As always, please leave your reviews on what you think about what you've read so far. Would you want to see more? Please favorite the story or feel free to hit the "follow" button for me, so you'll be notified first of any new stories. Thank you guys again!


	6. Chapter 6

Author's Note: Hey everyone, I hope you enjoy this fanfic, please let me know what you think, thanks! And no, of course I don't own Inuyasha. Enjoy!

Side note: "Normal parenthesis" means that someone is talking; " _parentheses italicized_ " means that it's a message- email and " _parentheses italicized and underlined_ " is Kagome's thoughts during that moment or her reflecting back on that scene. As always, enjoy!

* * *

 **Part 6: Naraku**

Ever since we became friends, Naraku waited outside my dorm room in the mornings to walk with me to the dining hall for breakfast, in which we usually would head straight to our computer science class after. Waiting outside in his usual black leather jacket and leather pants, his black clothes seemed to always define each line on his body. His shoulder length brown hair, always messy, was usually pushed back behind his right ear, with the left side covering his face mysteriously. I guess I always viewed him as a mysterious man, and that's what had pulled me to him originally. Gathering my things, I left the dorm.

"Hey, 'morning." He said, a light smile on his face. "You ready?"

"Yeah, sorry it took so long. Did you understand that homework?"

"Oh that? Yeah, it was easy."

"Its due next Friday.. I can't figure it out." Making a face, I groaned. _Why did I have to pick such a hard class in my freshman year?_

He chuckled, "If you want, I'm free this Thursday. Want to meet up and go over it?"

"Really? That'd be great!" Thrilled, I was happy that I had one problem solved.

"Anytime." He reached forward, pulling open the door to the dining hall for me, gesturing for me to go first.

"Thanks." I smiled, stepping in. Waiting briefly for him, we walked side by side proceeding inside to eat and chat more about our time at Skidmore College.

To be honest, I had a crush on Naraku. One that grew whenever he spoke with me or walked with me to class. I liked his mysterious motor biking side as well. And as promised, he made time with me to help me out with homework. Opening, forming long sequences and closing a program. Having breakfast with him before class became natural.

"Introduce me." Kanna said one day.

"Huh?"

"That guy. You're my roommate, right? Shouldn't I also be introduced to him?"

"Kanna, he's just a friend. Do you intend to meet all my friends?"

"No, I suppose not."

 _Have I been too obvious? Does she suspect that I like him.._? Glancing at her, I noticed she had returned to her iPad once again and so I dropped the conversation. What I didn't expect was the scene as I walked into breakfast the following day.

"Kagome! Over here."

Turning toward the voice, I spotted Kanna sitting across Naraku.

"How..? How did you two meet?"

"Here. Just now. Naraku seems interesting." Kanna said emotionlessly, her eyes watching me as I approached the table.

"Your roommate is um.. Unusual. In a good way though." Naraku smiled awkwardly, a smile that showed me that he didn't really mean it.

"Really? Um, great. I'll be right back, going to grab some food." Although we didn't have class together that day, Naraku and I had scheduled to meet anyways to talk about the recent quiz. _I didn't expect Kanna to do that.._ I thought as I grabbed my breakfast and sat next to Naraku. Seeing Kanna there, staring at me silently with those emotionless eyes and expression, I couldn't bring myself to bring up the quiz, let alone go in my bag to pull it out and look over it with him.

"I'll head out first, ok? Nice to meet you Kanna. See you Kagome."

I watched as Naraku got up to place away his plates and waved to him as passed our table on the way out.

"Why?"

"Why what?"

"Why did you do that?"

"Appear for breakfast?"

"Kanna, I'm not stupid. You did this on purpose."

"I just wanted to check out the guy, relax."

"Are you satisfied?" My cheeks red, I felt and probably looked it, very embarrassed.

"Much. Listen Kagome, I have a friend I recently made at choir practice. I want you to meet her. Her name is Kagura. She's very nice." Getting up, Kanna placed her plates away before coming back to grab her things. "I'm off too, I don't want to be late for class."

I watched as Kanna left. _She just doesn't think about how others would feel.._ Sighing, I put away my plates as well, heading to my first class.

* * *

Author's Note: Hey everyone, thank you very much for reading! As always, please leave your reviews on what you think about what you've read so far. Would you want to see more? Please favorite the story or feel free to hit the "follow" button for me, so you'll be notified first of any new stories. Thank you guys again!


	7. Chapter 7

Author's Note: Hey everyone, I hope you enjoy this fanfic, please let me know what you think, thanks! And no, of course I don't own Inuyasha. Enjoy!

Side note: "Normal parenthesis" means that someone is talking; " _parentheses italicized_ " means that it's a message- email and " _parentheses italicized and underlined_ " is Kagome's thoughts during that moment or her reflecting back on that scene. As always, enjoy!

* * *

 **Part 7: The Tide That Stung**

" _Geez, she did that? That's just horrible. Sorry you had to face that Priestess..._ " Sango's latest email read. Scratching my head, I leaned back in my chair, finally able to relax now that Kanna had gone home for the weekend. I had just finished updating Sango and Miroku on what had happened. Sango was the first to reply. Mother's schedule as usual was very busy and he hadn't been online for some time now.

" _Its alright. You have to experience the bad before the good, I guess lol._ "

" _Stay away from that roommate, or yourself a favor and just move out or choose another one next year._ " Miroku's email said.

" _Thanks for the support, both of you! It's alright, I can endure. Freshman year is supposed to be tough lol._ "

" _Well, good luck sister! You can do it!_ " Sango wrote back.

" _Priestess, keep at it!_ " Miroku's and Sango's words of encouragement gave me that much needed boost, as I knew I could count on them to help improve my mood.

" _Hey._ "

 _Oh. A new email from Inugami…_ Moving to my bed, I lay on my stomach, propping the laptop up in front of me.

" _Hey! :)_ "

" _Wyd?_ "

 _Again, he's so fast with his replies.._ " _Staying up late tonight. Its the weekend, so I figure why not?_ "

" _Great :) What's been going on in your life? Anything happen?_ "

Telling him quickly about my roommate and Naraku, he wrote back, " _Is that so? Well, that doesn't seem like a very nice thing to do.. Are you ok now?_ "

Blinking, I realized that no one else had asked that question yet. Always believing in me, Sango and Miroku had thought I was ok and cheered me on in my decision to suck it up for the year.

" _Yeah, I'm ok, feeling much better now though. Thanks :)_ "

" _Do you like that guy or something?_ "

 _Eh?_ Blinking in confusion, I didn't expect that question and replied, " _Nah, he's just a friend._ " _Besides, he won't notice me now.. Not with the memory of Kanna approaching him like that.._

" _Is that so? And your plan worked? He helps you with homework and the class?_ "

" _Don't make it sound like that.. Sounds like I'm using him when you put it that way..._ " Stretching my legs out behind me, I thought to myself; _Well, I'm not using him for homework.. But that seems to be all we ever talk about.. I mean, how would I even go about confessing to Naraku?_ Groaning, I put my head down on my blankets. _How do girls do this?_ Hearing a sudden "ping!", I looked up. Another email.

" _Haha sorry, didn't mean it that way. I guess what I meant was, are you doing ok with your work?_ "

" _lol I'll survive somehow. Thank you for asking ^_^._ "

And so the weekend passed like that, very happily as I could talk to my online friends in private. Then Monday came and as I sat down for dinner that night, I met with Kanna and Kagura.

"That's Kagome, Kagome this is Kagura." Kanna said.

"Nice to meet you." Reaching out my hand, she shook it firmly.

"You too, thanks."

Noticing her bag full of anime pins I asked, "You're a fan of anime? I am too!"

"Oh, its really no big deal. I go to conventions and stuff like that haha."

Unlike Kanna, she had a very open personality. She was always happy to speak out her mind and listen, while being full of emotion. We became friends very fast, bonding over how much anime we had seen or wanted to see.

* * *

"Hey, you wanna go to dinner?" This was the first time I had ever asked Naraku this question and I hoped that he would say yes.

"Dinner? Tonight?"

"Yeah."

"Sure, what time?" Looking over at me, Naraku smiled that handsome smile of his and I nearly forgot to reply.

"Oh, um. Well I usually go with Kanna at 6pm.. But, Kanna is staying for an extra accounting club meeting tonight.." Seeing how I was rambling off, I organized my thoughts and said, "Is 6 ok?"

"Yeah, I can do 6."

"Great!" _I can't believe it! He said yes! Play it cool Kagome! Get it straight!_

"How are you coming along with the homework now? Is it a bit easier to understand?"

"With your help, yes! I've started to learn the functions and now I am passing those mini quizzes per week."

My mind started wandering to our study sessions after class. How his serious mode would switch on and how he took the time to explain things to me, going over things more than once if necessary, and staying out as late as I asked. I remembered how close we would sit and how his hand would gently take the mouse, guiding my hand to hit the correct sequences. How his leg accidentally brushed past mine several times and he had said, "Sorry," really fast as if embarrassed. And how he would walk back with me after because our dorms were so close.

"See, I knew you would be able to do it! You just gotta put some more effort in it and it will become easier." Reaching out, he softly patted my head, something he had grown accustomed to doing to tease me.

Smiling, I said, "Yeah, thank you for your help, it really does mean a lot." _Am I relying on him too much though?_ I wondered.

That night at dinner, we were sitting across from each other in the packed dining hall. He was telling me how much of a luxury it was to live in the dorm rooms because his bedroom at home had been turned into a storage room for his parents since he left for college. Laughing, I said "Oh no, that sounds horrible. Do you sleep on the floor?"

"Luckily, I made this cot so I just sleep on it. It's mobile so I can move it anywhere in my house. Usually I sleep outside with it, it's not so bad." Seeing him laugh back so genuinely, I felt like I was getting to know more about this motorcycle nerdy computer science major. Besides, feeling his eyes only on me in this packed dining hall gave me a "Cinderella meeting her prince" sort of feeling.

Feeling a tap suddenly on my shoulder, I turned around to see Kagura standing there in a black dress.

"Kagome! Oh, I knew it was you! I thought I recognized you from the back. Oh.. You are..?"

Seeing how her eyes had shifted to Naraku, I quickly introduced them. "This is Naraku. He's in my science class. This is Kagura, she's a friend of Kanna's."

"Nice to meet you" Getting up, Naraku shook hands with Kagura.

"You as well. Can I join you guys? This place is very full tonight, I couldn't find any seats." Although disappointed, I nodded, gesturing to the seat beside mine.

* * *

And that's how Naraku and Kagura met. Naraku started frequently cancelling on me afterwards, not coming to the study sessions nor helping me anymore with the class. From then on, wherever Naraku was, Kagura would be there too. To put it plainly, he stopped noticing my presence and only perked up when Kagura showed up. Leaving my dorm one morning, I noticed that Naraku was not waiting outside like usual, so I had gone to the dining hall alone. Kagura it seemed, had walked down with him and would do so from now on. Perhaps I was being bitter. Perhaps I was being replaced.

Walking to class after breakfast would now be awkward, as he would walk faster than me, no longer bothering to match my pace.

"Hey, um.. The weather is pretty hot today, huh?" Trying to make some form of conversation, I thought to myself: _the weather is pretty hot? What sort of small talk is that?_

"Huh?" He turned briefly. "What did you say?"

"Um.. I said the weather is pretty hot, huh?" _He wasn't even listening.._

"You mean it doesn't get this hot where you're from?"

Confused, I stopped in my tracks. _What? Does that mean what I think it means…?_ "What?" I asked out loud.

"You're joking, right? It doesn't get this hot in Japan? You're Asian, right? Shouldn't you be used to the heat by now?"

I know.. I should've yelled at him. I should've said something back in retaliation. Instead, I stood there like an idiot, feeling the lasting sting of his cold words. I didn't reply. For a few minutes, I stood there in silence as he continued walking to class. Then shaking it off, I walked faster and would later pass him in silence. The ironic thing is; I had told him before that I was born in Japan but lived in the United States for my whole life. It was over. That midnight bell had rung. Leaving Cinderella to go back alone.

* * *

Author's Note: Hey everyone, thank you very much for reading! As always, please leave your reviews on what you think about what you've read so far. Would you want to see more? Please favorite the story or feel free to hit the "follow" button for me, so you'll be notified first of any new stories. Thank you guys again!


	8. Chapter 8

Author's Note: Hey everyone, I hope you enjoy this fanfic, please let me know what you think, thanks! And no, of course I don't own Inuyasha. Enjoy!

Side note: "Normal parenthesis" means that someone is talking; " _parentheses italicized_ " means that it's a message- email and " _parentheses italicized and underlined_ " is Kagome's thoughts during that moment or her reflecting back on that scene. As always, enjoy!

* * *

 **Part 8: Aftermath**

" _Who needs the guy anyway?_ " Miroku's email read.

" _He sounds like a jerk. You're better off without him._ " Sango's email, although reassuring, held a cold tone to it.

" _Guys like that are no good. Listen to Mother; you're too young for a guy anyway._ " Mother's email read. Although he had been busy, he still sent a reply and I could still feel Mother's warmth and concern.

" _Thanks everyone. You guys are right._ " Although I had typed that back, I felt like a yes man. Just because people gave me advice, I should I take it? I wanted to make my own decision, although it felt like my heart had been torn in pieces. I had sent everyone an email earlier in the morning when I was upset but now I was reading their replies at night after homework. For a whole day, it felt stuffy and very lonely to hold in all these feelings up until now, when I could get their honest feedback. Although I hadn't told Inugami that I had a crush on Naraku, I told him how I had gotten replaced and how his words at the end.

" _Are you ok?_ " Inugami's message from the morning read.

" _Sorry for the delay in reply. I'm ok now._ " I quickly typed back.

" _Really?_ " As always, his reply came faster than the others.

" _Yes._ "

" _Good. That guy is a jerk. You don't need a friend like him._ "

Smiling at the reply, I typed back, " _Thank you, really._ " Like last time, he had been the only one to ask if I was ok first before giving advice.

" _No problem. As long as you're ok._ "

" _Ah, enough about me lol. I'm ok. How are you? How's school?_ "

" _Skipped._ "

" _eh? You skipped school?_ "

" _Yeah._ "

" _Why?_ "

" _Went skating instead._ "

Immediately, I pictured him ice skating and typed back, " _I didn't know you skate._ "

" _Skateboarding. Yes._ "

" _But school... You shouldn't skip lol._ "

" _Its fine, I had fun._ "

Smiling, I walked over to my bed and lay down on my stomach. " _Well, ok. I'm glad you had fun though ^_^._ "

" _haha thanks. Are you staying up tonight?_ "

" _I can't. School tomorrow._ " Looking over at the time, I noticed it was 2 AM. _I don't really want to go to class tomorrow.. Perhaps I should skip?_

As if reading my thoughts, he replied, " _Skip haha._ "

" _I really want to. Naraku will be there, so awkward.._ "

" _Then skip and then email me._ "

" _I want to lol but I've never skipped a class a day in my life, let alone a college class… You pay for those, you know?_ "

" _Fine. Good luck tomorrow then._ "

" _Thanks.. Don't skip tomorrow! Go to class! lol._ " I typed back, as an image of Inugami skating vaguely entered my mind.

And like I said, I went to class the next day. We stopped having breakfast together, and stopped walking to class together. In fact, we were never together anymore. Perhaps I was avoiding him at the time. And without his help, computer science began taking a toll on my time and life. I worked twice as hard outside of class trying to understand the material and asking the professor a million questions. Eventually, I would just type, " _Homework, busy_ " briefly to my online friends before leaving my room to use the programming system in the school's library.

A year passed like that, a hectic me trying to regain control of my life. Pushing emotions aside, I focused all my efforts into my classes. I could tell at the same time that my online friends missed my presence but like Mother, it was out of my hands. I ended up barely passing my finals of my first semester and improving my grades at the end of my second semester. Luckily, I also picked out a single room for my sophomore year at Skidmore College. Unfortunately, Naraku and Kagura had started dating and were both in my Theology class for my sophomore fall semester. Oh well, a bridge I would cross in due time.

Going home for my summer vacation, I would reopen my Priestess email, updating my friends on my year. I received back positive emails, all encouraging me to keep up my positivity and not let heartbreak be the thing to bring me down. Even Kirara and Shippo came out of their hiding holes to reunite with the group for the summer. It felt like everything at Skidmore had been but a long dream.

At the end of my summer break, Inugami asked, " _Hey, so got a boyfriend yet?_ "

And I would reply, " _No. I'm not ready for a boyfriend at the moment. I just really want to focus on my studies for now._ " Sighing, I was reminded of Naraku. _No, definitely not ready for one any time soon_.

* * *

Author's Note: Hey everyone, thank you very much for reading! As always, please leave your reviews on what you think about what you've read so far. Would you want to see more? Please favorite the story or feel free to hit the "follow" button for me, so you'll be notified first of any new stories. Thank you guys again!


	9. Chapter 9

Author's Note: Hey everyone, I hope you enjoy this fanfic, please let me know what you think, thanks! And no, of course I don't own Inuyasha. Enjoy!

Side note: "Normal parenthesis" means that someone is talking; " _parentheses italicized_ " means that it's a message- email and " _parentheses italicized and underlined_ " is Kagome's thoughts during that moment or her reflecting back on that scene. As always, enjoy!

* * *

 **Part 9: Learning More About Him**

"Just when our Kagome finally likes someone, this has to happen.." Eri frowned, rubbing her chin thoughtfully.

"He missed out on something amazing." Ayumi said, giving me a gentle hug.

"I'm fine, really. Thank you all for coming to my 20th birthday, it means a lot." Hugging Ayumi back, I gave them a reassuring smile.

"He rode a motorcycle right? Definitely a delinquent, you guys wouldn't have been a good match. Actually, he's no match for you, who deserves better." Crossing her arms over her chest Yuka was ranting about how Naraku sounded like a delinquent and was probably bad news anyway.

The girls had come over to celebrate my birthday at the end of the summer and to talk about what had happened to them over the year that passed. Ayumi had met a great roommate Kaede, who she had planned to room with again next semester at Clark University. Yuka and Eri both doing well at their entry-level jobs as a cashier and business analyst.

"Kagome! Tell your friends to come down for cake!" As soon as those words had left Souta's mouth, we sprinted and fought to get through the door first.

When we reached the kitchen, my vanilla frosted cake with the words " _Happy Birthday Kagome_ " sat on the kitchen table. Grabbing a knife, I began cutting pieces for everyone.

"Kagome!" Turning toward Yuka's voice, I suddenly felt something cold and wet touch my nose. She had smeared frosting on my face.

"Yuka! I'll get you for that!" Putting down the knife, I dipped my finger in some icing and ran after her.

"Kagome!" Now Ayumi had smeared frosting on my cheek. Laughing, I smeared some on Souta's face and started running away.

And like that, my summer was finally over and I was fully prepared to enter into my sophomore year. That is, I was.. Until this letter came in the mail:

 _Dear Ms. Kagome Higurashi,_

 _As a courtesy warning, this letter is to let you know that your cumulative GPA has fallen below the required GPA for your scholarships. If you wish to keep your scholarships, please improve your GPA to the required 3.0 by the end of your sophomore year. You can do this by actively seeking out help after class with your professors, studying more, or by seeking out academic tutoring at Skidmore College's library free of charge. Failure to improve your grades by the end of this year will result in possible termination of your scholarships._

 _Wishing you well,_

 _Dean of Academic Studies,_

 _Izayoi Arnett_

Gulping, I felt a twinge of guilt in the bottom of my stomach. _How? How will I ever? In a year's time? Its impossible!_ Sitting down, I couldn't believe the letter tightly clutched in my hands. _If I lose my scholarships.. I can't go on with college.. I might even have to drop out.. Me? A dropout? What would mom think? What would gramps think? How would Souta continue to see me as his role model? I can't drop out! But without the scholarships.. I just don't have that kind of money for college.._

Bringing the letter to my mother, I watched her as she read it. After what seemed to be an hour, she finally looked up. Not at me, just up. Her eyes unfocused, it was hard for me to sort out her emotions.

"Mom.." I couldn't even bring myself to continue. _Mom, what? What could I say in this situation?_

"You'll do it right?"

"Huh?"

"You'll bring up your grades, right?" She finally turned her eyes to me.

"You mean, you're not mad?"

"No. It was hard for you too, right? I don't exactly know what happened to you this past year Kagome, but I could tell that you were working hard. Will you improve it?" She held up the letter.

"Yes." For the first time in my life, I couldn't love this woman in front of me more. Even without knowing much, she still believed in me to do the impossible and bring my grades up. Hugging her tightly, I whispered, "Thank you, mom."

Feeling her hand touch my head, she replied, "You can do it Kagome."

With this new motivation kicking in, I fought. I fought school like my life depended on it, which in this case, it did. I came to class, finished homework, and reviewed my notes every single day. I put my online life on hold as soon as the summer had ended. I was obsessed with grades. Doing assignments and studying hard became my main and only priorities.

Luckily, when my second year in college passed, I regained my GPA level to a 3.0. I had DONE it. I made what seemed to be impossible, possible. And it was due to this determination that fully prepared me for my third year at Skidmore College, where I could relax a bit to chat with my online friends now that my GPA was stable.

" _Going into your third year already? My daughter has grown. Good job Priestess, Mother is proud._ " Reading Mother's email, I was filled with joy. Not only was my birth mother happy that I had succeeded, but my mother from TM was also proud of me.

" _Thank you Mother. How's it going with your jobs?_ "

" _Tough, but its nothing I can't handle. Be strong, you're almost there to graduation._ "

Knowing full well that he couldn't see me, I couldn't help but nod enthusiastically. _I will make you all proud._

" _Priestess, I'm really happy that you're back online now. It's been so long!_ "

" _Too long Sango. I've missed you! Has anything happened?_ "

" _What do you mean?_ "

" _With Miroku. Anything happen?_ "

" _We're dating now!_ "

" _Oh my god! Congrats! Yay! :D_ " I jumped out of my seat, doing a victory twirl and pumping my fists into the air. _Oh yes! I'm so glad they're finally together!_ " _So, fill me in, what happened?!_ "

" _It was just a normal conversation, I mean I had rejected him before and all then he said he still likes me and oh, I just couldn't push him away anymore. I decided it wouldn't hurt to date him._ "

" _Aw~! And he told you he would wait and all, right?_ "

" _Yes! And he did, and he's now mine. All mine._ "

" _So cute Sango! I'm so happy for you two!_ " Then remembering how Kagura had treated me when she started dating with Naraku, I had to ask Sango first. " _You don't want me to keep in contact with him from now on, right? I mean, him being yours and all..? I can totally stop talking to him if it makes you uncomfortable._ "

" _Priestess, are you kidding? You're a sister to us! You can't disappear from our lives! I know he feels the same way! Anyway, you can't. You have to keep in contact with us, the both of us._ "

Smiling, I looked around my single quiet dorm room. _She's really not like Kagura.. I guess women in love are not all the same after all._ " _Ok, I'll stay then._ "

" _Good! That was a stupid question anyway, we love you stupid!_ "

" _Sango! lol I love you too :)_ " And true to my promise, I kept in contact with Miroku, learning of their love life from both sides. Often helping them to resolve unsaid issues and encourage them in their times of need. With school starting again, Shippo and Kirara had apologized and gone offline to focus on school once more.

Everything truly felt at peace. My life was being restored and repaired. While at the same time, I spent much more time talking to Inugami. I would spend my junior year telling him what was happening in my life, giving him details about every event I went to, what I was doing at the time I got his emails, and the list goes on and on. Our conversations would grow in length that surpassed the emails from the group; not that he knew about the group. And in turn, I would learn more about his life, what he was doing at that second, etc. He had even asked me for my phone number, which I willingly gave to him, getting his in exchange, and our conversations moved over to texts.

One day, he told me that he was in his senior year of high school and that he worked. I often felt that he seemed to have a busier schedule than I. So I was surprised when I heard that he also drove and had his own apartment. _What was I doing when I was a senior in high school? Goofing off with Eri, Yuka and Ayumi? Living my life as Priestess on TM?_ I honestly couldn't remember what happened when I was his age. He seemed so cool, so independent and to put it bluntly, a loner. However, it seemed like although he was a loner, he wanted to spend time with me.

Besides working, skating, going to school and driving back and forth, here he was always immediately responding to my texts, no matter when I sent them. I started to think the guy was a vampire, going on no sleep, or just superhuman because it seemed like he never rested. Although he was a loner, he was friendly, so very friendly. He always cared about what I had gone through before talking about himself, no matter how long my stories of my day seemed, he always stuck around to listen to it all and give his opinions on it.

Our conversations continued well past my junior year and into summer break before my senior year at Skidmore College, where we had both grasped a pretty big picture of each other's lives, despite not knowing each other in real life. I knew about his sisters, brothers and step-siblings. I knew his skating routine, his work schedule, and how long he would take to reply to me. I knew if he was in his apartment or if he drove back to visit his parents. I even knew of his love for football, because of his story of being an athlete and playing Madden in his free time. Every detail we gave to each other became topics for our conversations. We would continue to refer to each other as Priestess and Inugami and never give names to the people or places in our real lives. Although he had hinted at wanting to know the girl behind Priestess, I had ignored his hint and gone on, as if I had not heard it. And eventually, it was dropped because he would always put me before himself. And yet, he still kept a bigger secret from me. A secret that I would learn that summer before my senior year.

* * *

Author's Note: Hey everyone, thank you very much for reading! Please leave your reviews on what you think about what you've read so far! If you have a minute, please, please, please do so! I've never written this much for a fanfiction before (this is already part 9!) so hearing from you, the readers, would truly inspire me to keep going. Would you want to see more? Please favorite the story or feel free to hit the "follow" button for me, so you'll be notified first of any new stories. As always, thank you guys!


	10. Chapter 10

Author's Note: Hey everyone, I hope you enjoy this fanfic, please let me know what you think, thanks! And no, of course I don't own Inuyasha. Enjoy!

Side note: "Normal parenthesis" means that someone is talking; " _parentheses italicized_ " means that it's a message- email and " _parentheses italicized and underlined_ " is Kagome's thoughts during that moment or her reflecting back on that scene. As always, enjoy!

* * *

 **Part 10: Confession**

It happened during the summer break before my senior year of college. I was sick and down with a fever that day, but those events will never leave my memories. As I lay in bed sick, I felt my phone vibrate and reached over for it.

" _Hey_ " Inugami's text read.

" _Hey :)_ "

" _Wyd?_ "

" _I'm sick, so I'm just laying down for now._ "

" _Oh.. Are you ok?_ "

" _I'll be fine, thank you for asking ^_^_." I didn't know why I did what I did next... Perhaps the fever had gotten to me at that point? My next text read: " _*pats my bed*_ "

" _*Lays down next to you* Are you really ok?_ "

" _*Smiles* I'm fine, thank you for worrying._ "

" _*Stares at you_ *"

" _hm?_ "

" _*kisses you*_ "

 _eh? EH?! What did he just… What just happened? Huh? But that was my first.._ Confused and still feverish, I replied " _eh? *looks at you confused*_ "

" _*moves away* I like you._ "

" _... since when?_ "

" _Three years ago._ "

eh? What is even going on right now? Putting my phone down, I rested my eyes trying to think of what to say next. _He liked me? How was this possible? Why? Three years ago was around the time TM was starting to close down.. Even then he.. And my first.._ Shaking my head and getting myself dizzy, I picked up my phone to re-read the texts. _It's true then.. How should I reply?_ Taking my time, I replied, " _I'm sorry.. I've just thought of you as my friend until now… I'm not ready for a relationship.._ " Nervous, I turned in bed, awaiting his reply.

" _It's ok, I thought you might say that._ "

" _Why?_ "

" _I've asked you out before, and you've unintentionally rejected me._ "

Thinking back to the time that he asked if I had a boyfriend, I did remember that I had said " _No. I'm not ready for a boyfriend at the moment. I just really want to focus on my studies for now."_ _So, he was trying to ask me out back then? I didn't.. I really didn't know.._

" _I'm sorry. I should've told you not to fall for me.._ " Deciding that this was the right choice, that was the only response I could give him at this time. I didn't want him to fall for me. He was so incredibly mature for his age, in comparison to me. He seemed like this superhuman, someone so totally out of my reach, that if I did wanted to touch him, it would be impossible to.

Despite him being 18 (3 years younger), despite our racial differences, despite the distance gap (not knowing where we were really located in real life), despite him not knowing of the very anime that I had named as my top one, all of these things that I could overlook, ultimately, he was just too different, not my type at all..

" _haha its a little too late for that, I'm afraid. I still like you._ "

" _Didn't you have a girlfriend?_ "

" _We broke up already. It's an old story._ " Sensing it was probably not a topic he wanted to talk about, I wondered if I should continue with my question. But if I didn't, things would get awkward.. Besides, I really wanted to avoid talking about how he liked me, to not give him any false hope.. In a relationship that probably would not last in real life..

" _What happened?_ "

" _She broke up with me. Her family didn't get around to accepting me._ " Remembering back to what he had said about his girlfriend being Asian, I thought: _It might be the same way if we have a relationship.. After all, Asian families are very community oriented.._

And so, that's how his confession ended. The topic ended up being switched over to his old girlfriends and why they broke up. I knew perfectly well that it was unfair of me to not consider his feelings; and yet, I couldn't help but run away from it. Call me selfish, but I just wasn't ready for a relationship.

* * *

Author's Note: Hey everyone, thank you very much for reading! As always, please leave your reviews on what you think about what you've read so far. Would you want to see more? Please favorite the story or feel free to hit the "follow" button for me, so you'll be notified first of any new stories. I'm working on the next part right now (I know this one was short) thank you guys for your support, and please do look forward to the next chapter, thank you guys again!


	11. Chapter 11

Author's Note: Hey everyone, I hope you enjoy this fanfic, please let me know what you think, thanks! And no, of course I don't own Inuyasha. Enjoy!

Side note: "Normal parenthesis" means that someone is talking; " _parentheses italicized_ " means that it's a message- email and " _parentheses italicized and underlined_ " is Kagome's thoughts during that moment or her reflecting back on that scene. As always, enjoy!

* * *

 **Part 11: The Start of Something Beautiful**

Over the next few weeks, we would carry on our conversations as if nothing had happened. As if he never said anything at all, I would ask how his day went or what he was currently doing. He seemed to always be skating or playing Madden if he wasn't working. And on my end, I was getting my checklist of things that I'd need for my senior year, the busiest time for students. Making sure all my books were ordered and shipped, and that I had all my supplies ready preoccupied me from thinking about his confession. Perhaps he had dropped the conversation due to me.

Then one day, when asking him if he had any special events coming up, he said, " _There's gonna be a school prom for seniors soon. I don't know if I'll go._ "

Remembering my own experience of not going to prom because no one had asked me, I didn't want him to experience the same thing. " _You should go! Why not go?_ "

" _If I don't go, I could stay and text you._ "

Understanding his hint, I brushed it aside by saying, " _Well, I think you should go. I missed my chance to go because I didn't have anyone ask me. You shouldn't have to experience that. Did anyone ask you?_ "

There was a long pause. Finally, he replied, " _Yes, a girl has asked me and I have declined her invitation._ "

 _A girl.._ Although he had told me about his previous girlfriends, I still had brushed aside how he seemed to always be attracting girls. _Well, isn't it good for him to have someone to go to prom with?.. Even… Even if it's not me?_ Shaking my head, I scolded myself for the thought. _It's impossible. Don't forget that._

" _Why not go? Ask her this time?_ "

" _Are you sure? You want me to go?_ "

 _If he goes… He wouldn't miss out on his prom like I did…_ " _Yes. And have fun! Remember to treat her right._ "

" _I'll think about it._ "

And think about it was what he did, finally reaching the conclusion to go. I read his texts as he told me when he asked her, her excited reply, and finally his reply the day of prom. As I lay in bed waiting for his reply, I looked at the clock. _2 AM.. What is taking him so long? Are they planning to dance until morning? Is his arm.. Around her waist? Are they taking many pictures, wanting to forever re-live these memories?_ Shaking my head, I tossed and turned in bed. _I'm not his girlfriend. It's worthless to have these thoughts, isn't it? That's right, he's not mine. He's just a friend after all. Just a friend._ Closing my eyes, I was about to drift off when my phone vibrated somewhere above me. Reaching up, I read the new text.

" _Hey._ "

Sitting up, I typed back, " _Hey! How'd it go?_ "

" _*Grabs your hands* thank you, thank you so much._ "

 _He's so happy.. What happened?_ _"Why? What happened?"_

" _Well, we were dancing, and while dancing, she reached up to pull me to her and she kissed me. Turns out she likes me and has for awhile. She finally got the courage to ask me out and I accepted. Thank you so much._ "

 _She likes him? And they're going out? And they kissed?_ Putting my phone down, I looked back at the clock again. _3 AM_. _Why did it take them this long? They kissed? They kissed. And they're going out. He has someone in person to make him happy.. And yet.. Why?_ Confused why I was feeling so mad, I got up to grab a glass of water, tossing my phone on my bed.

Gulping the cold water down, I processed my thoughts. _This is what you wanted, isn't it? The outcome has come to this now. Now what? I should congratulate them.. Shouldn't I?_

" _Congratulations! I'm so happy for you._ " I typed back. _He's happy. That's what matters.. Who am I to come in between?_

" _Thank you, truly._ "

" _Why are you guys out so late though?"_

" _She wanted to continue dancing till now and I'm just sending her home._ "

" _Ah, I see. How nice of you._ "

" _Yeah, It's late over there as well, right? I should probably say goodnight to you._ "

" _Yeah, I was just about to go to sleep lol. So then, goodnight. Have a nice night._ "

" _Thanks, you too. Goodnight._ "

Sighing, I lay back down. _He had a good time.. And he accepted her kiss.. If he didn't also like her, why let her kiss him? What matters is that he has a physical girl by his side, someone who can comfort him, be happy with him, and talk with him whenever he needs someone.. I made the right choice. And tomorrow.. I'll tell him._ Turning around to lay on my side, I closed my eyes for the sleep that never came.

That morning, as I was still thinking of what to say, my phone vibrated again.

" _Hey, you up?_ "

 _I need to say it right? I mean… If I don't, it's not fair to her.. But to lose a friend like that.._ Clenching my teeth, I gripped my phone and finally typed back.

" _Yes. How are you?_ "

" _Good._ "

" _Hey, If you need to come in contact with me, can you email me from now on?_ " I put down the phone. _There. I had said it. Well, half of it._

" _Why?_ "

" _I just have this rule: where if a girl has a boyfriend, I'm not going to text him. Kinda unfair to the girl, you know? But you can still email me if you need to get in contact._ " Pausing, I looked up. _Was this the right thing to do? After all, he hadn't done anything wrong yet here I was pushing him away.. But if I had continued to text him, his girlfriend might get the wrong impression of us.. She and I don't have a relationship like I do with Sango and Miroku.. It might cause a misunderstanding between him and his new girlfriend.._ And there was the other half. I had told him. Now how would he react?

" _I don't want to_."

" _Why not?_ "

"c _'mon. This is ridiculous. We're just friends. Why can't we still text?_ "

Knowing that I had been very naive to not notice his feelings before, I couldn't make that same mistake now. _What if we had continued to text, and his feelings didn't go away? No. It wouldn't be fair to her. I couldn't continue to be naive and keep a guy that wasn't mine, knowing he had feelings for me, by my side.. It wasn't fair to her. And it wasn't fair to me._

" _I'm sorry. It's my policy._ "

" _But I don't have that email anymore. Can't we text like normal?_ "

 _I knew I wasn't considering his feelings again.. But I was afraid of his answer if I did. And I was afraid of what would happen in the future when we were still "friends". What if his girlfriend somehow got his phone and misunderstood about the other girl texting her boyfriend? Couldn't he see the issue here? Couldn't he see what I was trying to do? Why was he making this so hard?... Could it be because he still liked me? Priestess? The unknown girl, the unnamed girl, who he now had been chatting with over 3 years? He couldn't forget her?_ Shaking my head, I doubted it. _He's moved on. Clearly. I should too, this was the outcome I wanted anyway.._

" _I'm afraid not, sorry."_

" _Then I guess this is where we part, huh?_ "

Perhaps there was sarcasm in his tone.. Perhaps it was anger.. I couldn't tell from his text.

" _... I'm sorry. I guess so."_

" _Then, goodbye."_

Looking up from my phone, I had to think of what I wanted to say. What I wanted as my last words to him. When I pieced it together, I was ready and wrote,

" _Goodbye. We won't meet again. But.. I have to say, I am very thankful of the time that we have spent together. These three years.. I haven't felt lonely because of you, it was nice to be needed, nice to have a friend.. Thank you also for the love that you've shown me, however short it was. I didn't think or intend for things to be cut like this.. I'm sorry. I wish you both a long and happy life._ "

There. I said it. My final goodbye. Whether or not he replied, no longer mattered. And in thinking so, I left my phone in my room, the first time I had done since I had started texting him. I went about my normal routine, from checking for packages of my college school books to biking outside. Riding outside, I lost the time as I continued to pedal. Pedaling fast. As if I was trying to run away from my problems. _When was it that I started to be so attached to my phone? So attached that I was constantly checking it for messages? So attached that the moment my phone vibrated, I automatically assumed it was him and was disappointed when it wasn't? What was wrong with me? I should just forget him.. Forget him._

* * *

My mother would gradually notice something was wrong with me in the week that passed.

"Kagome. You don't seem to want to eat. Is there something wrong with the food?" I looked up, realizing that Mom had been watching me for quite some time.

"Aha, nothing! Your food is so delicious like always!" I said, beaming at my mom.

"Yeah, it must be if you intend to continue using that knife to pick up your rice." Sota murmured.

Looking down, I realized he was right and switched over to my chopsticks.

"Young girls like you. What else could it be if not boys?" Gramps said, winking at me over his newspaper.

"No! It's not that! Yuka has boy problems, I was just distracted trying to think of a solution.. Sorry everyone." Eating quickly, I placed my bowl in the sink. "Thank you for the meal, mom!" Kissing her on the cheek, I walked back into my room and lightly closed the door behind me. _I didn't even know if Yuka had a boyfriend.._ Sliding to the floor, I rested my back against the door, pulling my phone out to check for messages.

A week. It had been a week. And no messages. It was the longest time we had ever not spoken to one another. _Is it really over? Is our 3 year friendship gone just like that? Is he gone just like that? Is he happy? Eating alright? Sleeping ok? Kissing.._ Shaking my head, I scolded myself again. _There you go again, worrying unnecessarily. It's not like I like him that way.. I don't. Then, forget him. Forget him.._ It seemed my 4 year curse was coming back with a vengeance. To me, the 4 year curse usually affected my friends, breaking up my friendships after 4 years. Eri, Yuka and Ayumi seemed to be my only exceptions. _But it hasn't even been 4 years.._

Suddenly, I felt my phone vibrate in my hand. Without thinking, I flipped it down to face the ground. _What? But.. Could it be?_ Too scared to check, I sat very still for a few minutes. Then finally, I turned the phone over.

" _Hey._ "

" _...Hey._ " I was, as you can imagine, quite confused.

" _How are you?_ "

" _...Good.. I thought we had said.._? _Did something happen?_ "

" _She broke up with me."_

" _Why?_ "

" _Because I told her that I have someone on my mind. I still love another girl._ "

 _Was he talking about… Me? Priestess? But he didn't even know who I was.. Why give up a real girl in front of him..?_

" _Why did you tell her that?_ "

" _Because it's the truth. I have and still do love the girl I met 3 years ago._ "

" _Oh…_ " I know that this reply was probably one of the worst ones anyone could ever give in this situation, but I honestly couldn't come up with anything to say. _What could I say in this situation? What SHOULD I say? If only an expert in love, Venus, Cupid, SOMEONE, could come down right now and advise me on love.. What to say, what to do in this situation..?_

" _But it's ok. I didn't expect you to immediately accept me. I can wait. I've waited 3 years, you know?_ "

Regaining my composure, I was really glad he couldn't see me. Boy, what a mess I must have looked like.. I typed back, " _I'm really sorry you guys broke up.._ "

" _Don't be. Not your fault. I wanted to be truthful with her and after she listened to my story, she understood._ "

Placing a hand on my beating heart, I was really happy that he was back. So we continued to talk as friends, as if nothing had happened.

And a few days later, I was staying up late waiting for his reply. After continually checking my messages and the time on my phone, I was getting increasingly more irritated. _3 AM? Where is he? I know he graduates today and all, and probably had a graduation party.. But this is so late.. Could something have happened? What if he and that girl got back together and are…_ Shaking my head, I frowned. _That's not possible. Even if I was that girl, I wouldn't get back with him, knowing he has someone else he likes.. So then, where is he?_ Nervous and confused, I got up to pace around my room. _Could something have happened to him? What if I used up all his batteries texting him and now he's in trouble but has a dead phone?_ Scenario after scenario popped up in my mind. And another hour passed.

Hearing my phone buzz, I dove for it, landing on my stomach in bed and reading the new text.

" _Hey. I'm back._ "

" _Where were you?_ "

" _Skating. What's wrong?"_

" _Don't you know the time? Do you have any idea how worried I was?_ "

" _Why were you worried? What did you think I was doing? What did you think was happening?_ "

 _I! Wait.. What was I so worked up for?_ Pausing, I scratched my head. _Why had I overreacted? Because I wanted him by my side? Because he had disappeared for so long? Because I was worried?_

Knowing that all these answers were my reasoning, I typed it back to him. " _Because you disappeared for so long, so I was worried.. I just wanted you to stay by my side.. Sorry, I didn't think you were skating for so long.._ "

" _Do you know what that means?"_

 _Did it have a meaning?_ Shaking my head, I realized he couldn't see it so I typed back, " _no, what does it mean?_ "

" _It means that you're in love with me._ "

Shocked, I nearly dropped my phone. _Me? Really? I did? I liked him? I was in love with him? Did love have different types of feelings? The feelings I felt toward Inugami were different than the ones for Naraku. Toward Naraku, I had a crush on him.. On what I perceived to be him. I liked his mysterious side, but Kagura bought out a different side when she started dating him. She brought out a goofy, anime loving side. Inugami was different. Towards him, I loved his.. Personality._ Then it clicked. _The reason why I want Inugami to stay by my side is because I do like him. I love the years we've spent together getting to know each other.. I wait for him because I want to know more about him. I could care less about what he looked like, I just liked him for being him._ Inwardly smacking myself, I wondered how long it would have taken me to realize something so simple.. _So love actually has many forms.._

" _So.. That's what it is, I see,_ " I replied, still in shock.

" _*Hugs you* Please.. Please be mine._ "

" _Your…?"_ Anticipating his answer (although I already knew it), I pulled my legs up to my chest, resting my phone on my knees. I wanted to hear him say it. For some reason, I needed that confirmation.

" _*Kisses your forehead* My girlfriend."_

Touching my forehead, I finally heard those confirmation words from him. Without a doubt, I knew my answer.

" _Yes. I will be_."

" _Finally. You're finally mine. *kisses you*_ "

" _*Covers your mouth* This.. may take some getting used to.._ " Knowing that he was bound to do that, I had already prepared for it. I didn't want to be taken off guard again.

" _haha cute. I don't mind. We'll get used to it together._ "

Looking across my room to my full-length mirror, I touched my lips. _Yes, this would definitely take some time to get used to.._

* * *

Author's Note: Hey everyone, thank you very much for reading! As always, please leave your reviews on what you think about what you've read so far. Would you want to see more? Please favorite the story or feel free to hit the "follow" button for me, so you'll be notified first of any new chapters/stories. Thank you guys again!


	12. Chapter 12

Author's Note: Hey everyone, I hope you enjoy this fanfic, please let me know what you think, thanks! And no, of course I don't own Inuyasha. Enjoy!

Side note: "Normal parenthesis" means that someone is talking; " _parentheses italicized_ " means that it's a message- email and _parentheses italicized and underlined_ is Kagome's thoughts during that moment or her reflecting back on that scene. As always, enjoy!

* * *

 **Part 12: Arguments Over "Priestess"**

Although we were now official, many things remained the same. In other words, we were still ourselves around each other. Perhaps just more open with our feelings. He was still my best friend, which he hated to be called. Other than not being able to be physically together, we were like any other couple. Couple. Even the word felt fun to say. But the word I liked the most was "boyfriend", he was finally my boyfriend. And although he and I knew it, no one else knew it. I just didn't have the courage to tell my mom and Sota. And these fears, I confided in him with them.

My biggest problem, was the fact that I was still using Priestess around him. I could tell he wanted to drop the alias and reveal the real us behind our characters.. The problem? That Priestess was so much more than an alias to me. Priestess was my alter ego. Although not different by much, she was a part of me, a happier part. A part that shined and emanated kindness and positivity. She was the part of me that was happier and so much more naive to the world. And I? I was the part that had grown up and took my experiences with me.

And for the longest period of time, I couldn't tell him that. _What would he think? How would he react? If he knew that the person he fell in love with for 3 years was.. An alter ego?_ Perhaps it was because I was starting to learn how it felt to care for another person.. But wholeheartedly, I did not want to hurt him any more than this.

One day, I asked, " _There's plenty of fish in the sea.. Why choose me? What if in the future… What if you'll like some fancy rainbow colored fish?_ "

" _That won't happen._ "

" _Why?_ " _Why was he so confident?_

" _It won't because I love this fish right here *pulls you to me* and I don't plan to let this one go._ " Feeling my heart beating crazily, I really hoped that we could stay forever this way..

" _*hugs you* really?_ "

" _Yes, really._ "

" _What are you thinking of right now?_ "

" _You._ "

His sweet words always had a way of moving my heart. And like a real couple we would continue to be until he started getting more and more curious about the girl behind Priestess. _Should I tell him? But what if he doesn't like me anymore after hearing it?_

" _Priestess.. Tell me who you really are? Please? I know I've asked many times now, but I've also dropped it many times for you. I love you so much. Won't you tell me?_ "

 _Did he really love me though? Or did he love Priestess? Which one of us did he really fall for?_ Although both were the same girl, I needed to know. I was growing more and more sick of hiding the truth from him..

And one day after he continually asked me about my identity, asking about pictures, and asking if I really wanted to continue to be in this relationship with him, we had a fight.

" _You're always hiding it. What exactly are you afraid of? That I won't accept you?_ "

" _No. That's not it.. I just don't want to be forced to.._ " I didn't want to be forced to give up being Priestess. Once I told him, my role as Priestess would really start to disappear. But would I choose him or Priestess..?

" _It's always what you want in the end. I forget, you don't have any experience in this, do you? Well, people in a relationship work things out and compromise. You're sealing yourself up. You're doing as you always do, especially last time when I offered to drive to you and meet you in person, you denied it saying that you believe in destiny. That if we're fated, then we'll eventually meet."_

I couldn't say anything back because I knew he was right. We hadn't even been dating that long. Probably 2 months at the most? And he was already forcing me to reveal Priestess… The Priestess that in my heart I couldn't bear to part with a second time after the closure of TM. _He was right. He was being patient, but even the most patient of people lose their tempers.._

" _I'm sorry. I'm really sorry. This is why I didn't want you to fall for me.."_ I knew that this was an excuse. An excuse to continue being Priestess for a longer time.. _But if I revealed myself, would he still continue to like me?_

" _Forget it. It's fine._ " But I knew it wasn't fine. _It wasn't fine at all. He was doing it again.. Bending and doing what I wanted, despite not agreeing to it. Was I being a horrible girlfriend..?_

And so we would have many fights like these, that usually came up only when he mentioned wanting to know the real me. It would take some time before I would reveal the real me. Much, much more time.

I had lost count how many arguments we would have over it, but I finally cracked. I was unable to carry on as Priestess, loving the Inugami that was him. I couldn't continue this relationship. One day after an argument, I typed, " _Let's break up._ "

Almost immediately, my phone exploded with text messages asking me why. Message after message, it would ask me why I was always so rash and what he did wrong. Truthfully, it wasn't him. I was just tired of lying to him, tired of forcing this relationship to work.. I was tired of being pressured to reveal myself, although it was the right thing to do.. I wished he could just trust me.. My naive self wished for him to trust me. But my conscience knew that it wasn't right. So I wanted a break up. Then he did something he had never done before. He called my phone. Again and again.

Sitting on my bed, I watched my phone go off like it had never done before. I knew I should answer. I knew I should do something. Finally, I picked up my phone and texted him back.

" _It has nothing to do with you. It's just… Priestess. You want that secret revealed, right?_ "

Finally, the phone stopped buzzing and went silent for awhile. Then a new message read: " _Yes. Please tell me the secret."_

And so I did, every single detail of why I had created Priestess. Why Priestess meant so much to me and why Priestess was my last remaining momento of TM. Then feeling myself shaking, I realized that this was the first time.. The first time I had ever revealed Priestess to someone else. She was my friend. Yet, she was also me.. Sango, Miroku, Mother, Shippo and Kirara all knew Priestess and I hadn't even told them yet.. Now, he was the only one who knew. Finally after what felt like hours, he replied.

" _Then what separates you two? What makes you different from your alter ego?_ "

" _She's more naive. She is more positive and radiates that positivity, believing in the good of people and failing to see their flaws. That's the kind of person Priestess is._ "

" _And you?_ "

" _I'm like her, but I know the flaws of humanity. I carry the more negative human qualities that she lacks. I've grown and experienced things, things that I've not forgotten.. That's the difference. So we must break up._ "

" _Why?_ "

" _Because.. You've liked her positive side right? You've liked that she was always so positive toward you. But I can't always be that positive.._ "

" _Idiot. I love both sides of you regardless. Your positive side. Your negative side. Your naive side and your strict side that fights with me. You're human, it's natural._ "

Feeling surprised, I hugged my phone. _He was so kind.. He was so quickly accepting of the me that I hid from others.._

" _So, you don't mind? That Priestess is my alter ego?_ "

" _No. So, can we start over?.. This time as us?"_

" _But.. It's going too fast.."_ I was still reluctant to jump into a total reveal of myself.. I could however, expose my name.. For now.

" _Can we start with just a name then? We'll take things slow and eventually get there, ok?_ "

" _... My name is Kagome."_ _There. I said it. My real name._

" _Kagome, my name is Inuyasha. Nice to finally meet you *hugs*_ "

He was being so warm.. So kindhearted.. He was compromising and I was learning how to. He seemed to always have so much more experience than me when it came to this, that I was slowly, slowly learning. And he was being patient with me. I could feel the nervousness ease out of me, as I relaxed and typed back, " _You too. *hugs you back*"_

" _Kagome, are you willing to be my girlfriend again? Take me back?_ "

" _Yes, of course ^_^_ "

" _*kisses you*"_

I had recently stopped preventing him from kissing me, but hadn't quite reached that stage where I was kissing him back yet. " _*smiles* Thank you._ "

" _For?_ "

" _Still accepting me.. Even after knowing about Priestess._ "

" _You idiot. Both sides are still you. Don't think for a second that you could leave me because of that. Inugami wasn't an alter ego, but he was still my selfy, so I understand._ "

Blinking, I looked up surprised. _That's right.. Inugami was also his selfy name.. Why.. Why didn't I think of that? That he could understand Priestess because he had created Inugami?... Yeah, it's official, I'm an idiot._ Smacking my head with my palm, I was glad that we were slowly going to get there.

" _Oops.. I didn't think about that.._ "

" _haha, I can see that. But it's ok, we're moving in the right direction. My girlfriend now, my wife later._ "

 _This guy and his jokes.._ Laughing, I was glad that the tense atmosphere from before had disappeared so quickly. Only he could do that. It seemed that only he could make my anxieties appear and disappear so quickly.

* * *

Author's Note: Hey everyone, thank you very much for reading! As always, please leave your reviews on what you think about what you've read so far. Would you want to see more? Please favorite the story or feel free to hit the "follow" button for me, so you'll be notified first of any new chapters/stories. Thank you guys again!


	13. Chapter 13

Author's Note: Hey everyone, I hope you enjoy this fanfic, please let me know what you think, thanks! And no, of course I don't own Inuyasha. Enjoy!

Side note: "Normal parenthesis" means that someone is talking; _parentheses italicized_ means that it's a message/email and _parentheses italicized and underlined_ is Kagome's thoughts during that moment or her reflecting back on that scene. As always, enjoy!

* * *

 **Part 13: Sweet Times**

" _So you revealed the girl behind Priestess? Boy, you must really like this guy, huh, Priestess?_ " Sango's recent email read.

" _Mhm. I'm starting to care for him more and more. I could only tell you Sango.. If I told Miroku, well.. You know that thing he has for being the top child? He'd probably tell Mother.. That's the last thing I need now._ " Needing to tell someone, I decided to tell Sango about it. About Inuyasha and me dropping the alias Priestess.

" _Yeah, I know what you mean. Mother would throw a fit. You're his precious favorite daughter Priestess.. Kirara and Shippo are the youngest and not the right choices to tell.. And I think you chose me because you needed advice, yeah?_ "

" _Yeah.. Any advice you could give me?_ "

" _Well.. All relationships are different. He seems to be a pretty nice guy. I mean, he told that girl the truth, right? Instead of continuing to date her, he was straight forward and accepted being dumped.._ "

" _Well, he's had a girlfriend who cheated on him once.. He never really got over it._ "

" _I think the decision to make is yours Priestess. Only you can do what you want to be happy in life. Don't let him pressure you into doing things that you don't want to. You know what makes you happy after all._ "

Reading Sango's email had made me feel better. She seemed to be so much more calmer about things now that she was in a relationship. And because she was an outsider to this relationship, she could give me advice without her choices being affected by her feelings. Also, she was in an online relationship herself, so I felt that she would be able to understand.

" _Priestess, whatever you decide, remember that trust between two people is hard to come by. I feel like he really has feelings for you. Don't let him down._ "

" _Thanks Sango. How has your relationship been?_ "

" _Its going well! So well, I can't believe we're not already dating in real life. Well, the things that will come, will come in due time. No need to rush things. Have you been keeping up with mama?_ "

" _er... Not really. I mean, we say our 'hellos' and 'how are you's' here and there but no real conversation.. You?_ "

" _Pretty much the same. I doubt he's forgotten us though. Most likely busy._ "

" _Agreed. Actually, I might try sending him an email now. See what he's doing, you know? Any words you want passed on Sango? From you or Miroku?_ "

" _That we wish him well! Keep healthy and not overwork himself.. Mother is always like that anyway.. Talk to you later, Priestess!_ "

" _Ok! Talk to you later!_ " Opening up a new email box, I began to type the following: " _Hello Mother! How are things going?"_

" _Good Priestess. Business is slow over here. How are things with you? Heading into your senior year, right?_ "

" _Yeah. It's going well. I'm all prepared! Oh by the way, Sango and Miroku wish you well and to not overwork yourself.. You are getting plenty of sleep and eating, yes?_ "

" _Trying to.. Is Miroku doing a good job as head of the house?_ "

" _Just perfect. He's taking over in your place, making sure we haven't died lol_ "

" _I won't go to your funerals if you die so easily haha. You've forgotten that boy, right? That jerk Naraku?_ "

" _Matters of the heart heal over time Mother.._ " Truthfully, I had moved on, but I didn't want to tell Mother that.

" _My baby, you're too young. Don't rush into your relationships. You'll end up having someone like that Father of yours.. No good that man._ "

" _Yes, yes. Mother is the best, Mother is amazing, Mother is the most beautiful one of them all._ "

" _haha. Butt kisser. Now, give your Mother a kiss before you go along._ "

Knowing full well that he loved to be complimented so, I complimented him to keep him off the topic of boys, and it worked.

" _*kisses your cheek*_ "

" _Good girl. Mother is going to go back to work. If you need anything, let me know._ "

" _Okayyy~!_ " I replied. I loved acting as a baby in front of Mother, and he in turn, loved to treat me as his favorite.

Suddenly hearing my phone vibrate from my bed, I left my laptop on my desk and walked over to my bed. The new text read:" _Hey :)_ "

" _Hey ^_^_ "

" _Wyd?_ "

" _Relaxing. It's too hot to do anything.. What about you?_ "

" _Same. cmere._ "

" _*hugs your back*_ " This was something I had gotten used to doing, hugging Inuyasha from behind.

" _hm?_ " And he had gotten used to copying my "hm's" that I used.

" _Nothing. I just like hugging your back. *smiles*_ "

" _I've noticed that. Why?_ "

"... _Honestly, I see your back as a pillar of strength for me._ " Every time we had fought over Priestess, and there was an awkward tension in the air, I could only think of hugging his back. When I did so, it was like I could feel him calming down. To me, I could only think of doing that to calm him, while at the same time, it showed him that I still cared about him and was still here for him in an argument. Something that was easy for real life couples to show but hard for online couples to show.

" _Cute. *turns to hug you*_ "

" _hm?_ "

" _I missed you._ "

" _It hasn't been that long since we last talked lol._ "

" _I know, but I still missed you_ "

" _*sticks out my tongue* silly._ "

" _Don't do that.._ "

" _Why?_ "

" _It's tempting…_ "

" _What is?_ "

" _I want to kiss you when you do that._ "

Being playful and wanting to see if what he was saying was the truth, I did it again.

" _*Kisses you*_ "

" _eh? You actually did! Are you usually that easily tempted?_ "

" _By others no. By you, yes. *stares at your lips*_ "

" _*Covers your mouth* Don't keep doing that you idiot lol._ "

" _*Kisses your palms*_ "

" _*Lets go* Stop kissing me, you kissing weirdo._ " I liked to bully him and in turn, he figured out my weakness..

" _*Tickles you*_ "

" _No! I'm ticklish! *laughs*_ "

" _*Stops. Kisses you*_ "

Yawning, I looked up at my alarm clock. _4 AM already..? Where did the time go?_

" _It's late.. I'm gonna head to bed._ "

" _Let's sleep together then._ "

 _eh?!_ Surprised, I shook off the idea. _No._ _It's not appropriate.. Men and women shouldn't be together all night long.._

" _Idiot. No, get out. I'm going to bed._ " I needed to be firm, as he was beginning to be a person that could bend my will.

" _ehhh.. Why? Why can't I stay?_ "

" _Because it's not appropriate.. Unmarried men and women together this late.. *pushes you to my door* Good night._ "

" _Wait._ "

" _hm?_ "

" _I'll go… If you finally kiss me back?_ "

" _*kisses your cheek*_ "

" _You know what I meant, babe._ "

" _lol You didn't specify where._ "

" _*smiles* Alright. Goodnight then._ "

" _*smiles back* Goodnight._ "

* * *

Author's Note: Hey everyone, thank you very much for reading! As always, please leave your reviews on what you think about what you've read so far. Would you want to see more? Please favorite the story or feel free to hit the "follow" button for me, so you'll be notified first of any new chapters/stories. Thank you guys again!


	14. Chapter 14

Author's Note: Hey everyone, I hope you enjoy this fanfic, please let me know what you think, thanks! And no, of course I don't own Inuyasha. Enjoy!

Side note: "Normal parenthesis" means that someone is talking; _parentheses italicized_ means that it's a message/email and _parentheses italicized and underlined_ is Kagome's thoughts during that moment or her reflecting back on that scene. As always, enjoy!

* * *

 **Part 14: Mood Swings**

" _*Lays my head on your lap*_ " He had gotten used to doing this.

" _What are you doing?_ " I asked.

" _...I consider this my safe zone._ "

At the time, I had shrugged off what that meant. Why he would need a safe zone. Safe zone for what? And from whom? I didn't want to spoil the time we had with questions.

" _Is that so?_ "

" _mhm. Babe?_ " He had also given me this nickname, which I had originally rejected because I didn't know how many others he had called "babe". Back when I was Priestess, I had wondered: _How was I any different from them if it's the same nickname?_ But now, I could accept it because our relationship had stabilized more.

" _Yeah oppa?_ " I had given him this name in exchange, due to my strong love for Korean dramas where girls call their boyfriends "oppa".

" _Stay with me for now? Just stay right here?_ "

" _Sure._ " Feeling that he had something on his mind that he didn't want to talk about, I changed the subject. " _If you could have any pet in the world, which would you pick?_ "

" _A wolf. You?_ "

" _A pegasus…_ " While knowing that it was impossible, I still wanted to have one.

" _haha that's an interesting choice._ "

" _mhm. Do you have any pets?_ "

" _Yeah, dogs and cats._ "

If only those happy times could have continued forever... How happy I would be. How much different everything would have been?

* * *

Although he was busy, he would always try to take me with him, no matter where he was. If he was at work, he would talk to me during his breaks. One time, he was skating and he answered my text.

" _Hey._ "

" _Hey._ "

" _What are you up to?_ "

" _Skating, but it's not my turn now._ "

" _Oh. I see._ " _So that's where he was.. It had been awhile since his last text._

" _I wish you were here with me._ "

" _eh? Why? I don't know how to skate._ "

" _You could meet my friends and stay by my side to watch me. And I would secretly teach you on the side._ "

" _lol sounds like it would be fun!_ "

One time I even told him about how close knitted Asian families were and how approval of the couple was important.

" _I just don't know if my family.. All of them.. will support our relationship._ "

" _hmm.._ _"_

" _What are you thinking of?_ "

" _How to become an Asian man._ "

His response showed how much he cared about us. How much he cared about me.

After some time of getting to know me, the girl behind Priestess, I asked him what he liked about me. In many short sentences, he replied:

" _Compared to Priestess.. I like how you're direct and ruthless."_

 _"You're more experimental."_

 _"You're more loving and beautiful in how loyal you are to your family."_

 _"You're honest to a fault."_

 _"And you're honorable but worrisome."_

But as time passed, I gradually noticed that while he was happy around me, he also had some very depressed mood swings. In other words, he had depression. He had a rage within him that once in awhile, shot off like a firecracker, injuring any and all who stood too close. I wasn't an exception.

One day, he told me the reason for his depression. He had been through a lot of things growing up and even to this day was still suffering for his past. It seemed to me that he lived in the bad side of town, wherever that was. I had listened to him open up about his past, about him believing that he was the cause of a friend's death. About how his friends had abandoned him in the past because they believed that too. About how even now, it was hard for them to accept him. I was shocked. Such a nice man had such a past? Such a gentle man had suffered such sorrows? I offered as much comfort as I could, while being not entirely sure of what to say to make him feel better.

On the other hand, he was calm. As if he had wished to tell me this story and had just been planning out how to best go about it. He trusted me and I was fully grateful of how much personal information he trusted me with. Yet, he knew that I couldn't do anything to change it. Yet, he knew that it was a past he would be haunted with forever, constantly in pain, constantly feeling like everyone was out to get him.

Having suffered from depression in the past, I could understand how he must have been feeling. However, his depression was one that was caused by guilt, whereas my depression was caused by hatred.

His mood swings would vary randomly, where he could be the most romantic man on earth one moment to being depressed, angry, cold or even unhinged the next. One day when I texted him: " _Hey._ "

" _Hey._ "

" _Wyd?_ "

" _Chilling here, what about you?_ "

" _Listening to a holy voice._ "

Confused what he had meant, I asked him what the voice was saying.

" _She told me not to tell you; it's a secret between me and Rin._ "

 _Rin? Who is Rin?_ I wanted to ask, but I had a feeling that he would also not tell me. So I just replied, " _Is that so?_ "

" _Yes. cmere._ "

" _*Walks over to you*_ "

" _*Puts my ear to your stomach*_ "

" _What are you doing?_ " At this point, my confusion was just escalating. I figured he was going through another mood swing and was ready to support him.

" _Listening to Rin._ "

" _Oh? And she says?_ "

" _It's a secret between us._ "

Out of the many conversations we've had, this was the one I'd remember the most, due to how ambiguous it always seemed.

A few days later, he would stop responding. There were no new texts from him for 4 days, in which every of those 4 days would be only my texts, consisting of " _Hey's_ " and " _Are you alright? Are you busy?"_

Finally on the 4th day, he replied. Hearing my phone finally buzz, I went to pick it up from my bed. The text read:

" _Can't you be patient?!"_

Surprised, I went silent. _I had waited for him.. Did I wait for this? Is he ok though?_ Shaking off my frustration, I quickly replied back.

" _Are you alright? What happened? You haven't replied for 4 days.. I was worried._ "

" _Things are going on over here. There was a fight, and people got injured. I'm in the hospital for one of my friends who was involved in the fight._ "

" _I'm sorry… I.. I didn't know._ " I felt like I was repeating something stupid. _Of course I didn't know, how was I supposed to? Stupid. Stupid. I was so stupid.. Sending all those texts when he was already in such a worried state.. He probably didn't even think about anything else but his friend until now. I was so stupid._ I felt myself sliding down, and when I looked up, I was already sitting on my bedroom floor.

" _No you didn't. So can you be patient?_ "

" _Yes. I'll wait._ "

And after that, there would be a long, long pause until he finally answered.

" _I'm back._ "

" _How is it? How are you? How is he?_ " I knew I was bombarding him with questions, but I didn't care because I needed to know.

" _Everything is fine. I'm good. He'll be ok. He has to rest for a few days, but he'll be alright._ "

Things like this seemed to be happening all the time. He just seemed to want to stop every fight that broke out, hear every shot that rang into the dark night, and protect each one of his friends that got involved. I gradually worried more and more for his safety. However, he said that I wouldn't understand because it seemed to him that I grew up in a more safer neighborhood. That probably was true..

Other times, he would feel depressed and wouldn't really want to talk. Those texts usually had him saying less, but wanting me to stay with him to look at the stars. For that very reason, he left his home one day to drive to a local park and sit in his car, eventually spending the night that way.

" _Stay with me for awhile?_ "

" _Of course._ "

" _*Lays my head on your lap*_ "

" _What's wrong?_ "

" _Nothing._ "

Although he never really liked admitting to it, I would usually know when something was wrong, when something was up.

" _Ok._ " I didn't want to question him about it if he didn't want to talk about it.

" _The stars are shining so brightly tonight. Can you see them?_ "

Walking to my window, I pulled back the curtains to stare up at the night sky.

" _They're very beautiful tonight._ " I replied.

" _I love you_."

" _I know._ " Although I knew, I still felt bad that I couldn't do anything for him. I couldn't cure him of his depression. I didn't know what to say to make him feel better, or even if there were words that could make him feel better. Why was I receiving all his love when I couldn't do anything? I felt helpless. I could only stay by his side and try to cheer him up for the time being. And eventually that night, he would fall asleep replying back to me; like I had fallen asleep waiting for his reply.

It was during these endless waiting periods, endless mood swings that would cause me to break up with him a second time. Unable to handle the feeling of being so helpless, I broke up with him. Rather than let two people suffer together, I wanted to be the one to make that sacrifice so he could be free of the relationship to focus on stabilizing his physical and mental states, especially as he began having suicidal thoughts and actions. Each time those thoughts and actions happened, he would leave for long periods of time and apologize for doing so. But exactly what was he apologizing for? Not responding to texts, disregarding his life, or disregarding all those who cared about him in the process?

When I broke up with him, he said that I was running from my problems. But what was wrong with running away? I had began to become silent anyway, repeatedly saying " _..._ " when I couldn't think of anything to say in heated arguments with him. All we seemed to be doing when we weren't happy, was arguing.

Every argument was hostile; with him always apologizing for letting out his frustrations on me in the end. While what had caused the argument was usually his depression, or something that had happened that day, I knew that he cared for me. Deep down however, he had a bad habit of storing in his emotions, until, like a firework, it exploded. I had to wonder: _Does he truly care about what I think? I have feelings too! I'm not a robot.. I can't just take this in forever.._

And when I reached my boiling point, I said it again, " _Lets break up._ " After this break up, I would count the days, the weeks it took for him to text me back. He never did.

 _2 weeks.. He had forgotten about me. Most definitely, he didn't care anymore. He doesn't care. He's not even thinking about you. And yet.._ Laying on my back in bed, I reached up with my right hand to touch the liquid that was falling to my temples. _Tears? When was the last time I had cried..?_ Wiping them away, I repeated to myself: _Stop! Stop! You're the one that broke up with him. You are. You did! Why are you still thinking about it?_ Sniffling, I continued wiping as more came cascading down. _2 weeks.. What was he doing? Why was he not texting me? Were we… really over? Was I testing you to test me? Was forgetting about you going to let me forget and let go?_

I was trying to forget him, forget about us. But my heart wasn't listening to my head. It was sailing its own ship, determined to seek him out. So a few days later, I sent him a text.

" _Hey._ "

" _Sup?_ "

 _Was that what I had waited for?_ I held back my anger as I typed my reply.

" _...I'm sorry._ "

" _Don't be. I'm used to it. You run away from your problems. It's fine._ "

" _No, I just couldn't deal with it. The pressure of everything was too much._ "

" _Because you like to be free. And now I'm tying you down._ "

It wasn't a question. It was a statement.

" _...Don't be so foolish to compare me to a saint. I told you that I'm different from Priestess because I make human mistakes.. but, I'm sorry. I shouldn't have rashly left like that._ "

" _...It's ok. I'm not mad._ "

" _Then? Why are you acting this way?_ "

" _Depression._ "

In my heart, I knew that I shouldn't have left. I should've tried to work it out like other couples. However, I was rash and made a rash choice. It took some time, but his icy exterior finally melted, letting me back in. Reflecting back, I guess I realized that compared to the pain of my heart, he was suffering more from pain of the body due to depression. The question was; which one would hurt more?

* * *

Author's Note: Hey everyone, thank you very much for reading! As always, please leave your reviews on what you think about what you've read so far! Would you want to see more? Please favorite or feel free to hit the "follow" button for me, so you'll be notified first of any new chapters/stories! Thank you guys again!


	15. Chapter 15

Author's Note: Hey everyone, I hope you enjoy this fanfic, please let me know what you think, thanks! And no, of course I don't own Inuyasha. Enjoy!

Side note: "Normal parenthesis" means that someone is talking; _parentheses italicized_ means that it's a message/email and _parentheses italicized and underlined_ is Kagome's thoughts during that moment or her reflecting back on that scene. As always, enjoy!

* * *

 **Part 15: The End of Summer**

What I had always loved about Inuyasha was his downright honesty. When something happened in real life, involving other girls, he would tell me about it. In fact, he seemed to never have any troubles when it came to that area. Among his past girlfriends, one came back, wanting to rekindle their relationship. Her name was Kikyo.

Whatever new thing Kikyo wanted to do, Inuyasha would text me and tell me. When he first started getting new messages and calls from her, he told me about them. When she moved back and knocked on his door, he told me about that too. No matter what went on between the two of them, I felt powerless. Here was another girl that could come to him in real life. Compared to the one from prom, they actually had a past. A past that came before me. A past I couldn't change.

And as he pushed her away, another one in the form of a non-blood related family member came along. Visiting him and his family, they played a game of hide and seek. He would later message me about how they both chose the same hiding space and while there, she would kiss the unsuspecting him and confess to him.

The me of back then felt helpless to protect him. _So then why does he love me so?_ Sighing, I would turn my phone off, laying in bed to think things over. These things that were happening in real life, were out of my control. I wasn't bothered with the girls, my jealousy, I could push aside. I was concerned for him. He obviously needed someone who could protect him. Someone who could urge him to stop thinking negative things and improve his unstable state. _If that someone isn't me.. Will I be able to accept it?_

Nearing the end of that summer, I needed to get out of the house so I applied to be a camp counselor. While there, the unlucky me would meet Bankotsu, an experienced, arrogant camp counselor, out to get the newbies. When he piled more and more of his work onto me daily, I didn't mind. At least by doing more things, I could temporarily not think about my love issues. In the end, I overworked myself. Inuyasha's text read " _Do you want me to speak to him?_ " which frustrated me because I knew I could handle my own problems. It was also there, without my family around, that I finally allowed Inuyasha to call me. It was our first phone call, in which my heart would beat so loudly that night, that I thought my roommates would hear. Leaving the room, I picked up the call.

"Hello?"

"Hey."

His voice was calm, somewhat deeper than I had imagined.

"um, hey!" _Wow I'm stupid! I just said Hello and all._ Placing my other hand on my chest, I heard his chuckle on the other end.

"What're you doing?"

"Just stepped outside to talk to you."

"Your voice is different than I pictured."

 _How did he picture my voice? Did I sound weird?_

"Oh? And how did you picture it?"

"As a calm voice, but upbeat and happy."

"And how does it sound?"

"You have a child's voice, somewhat high pitched. You nervous?"

"Ah.. You were able to tell that out, huh?"

"Yes" Another chuckle.

"Well, your voice is deeper than I imagined it to be too, so I guess we're even." Smiling, I was surprised at how he was making the nervous me able to calm down so quickly. Without even using the words "calm down", he was initiating the conversation perfectly.

"Is it?" A laugh. "Tell me more about you. I want to hear more."

"Well, what do you want to know?" Leaning against a tree, I held my phone to my ear, steadier now that I had calmed down.

"What types of food do you like?"

"Asian types of foods!" Smacking myself internally I thought: _Wow you idiot! You can't even pick one!_

"In particular though?"

Having shrimp come to mind, I blurted out "Seafood." And again smacked myself internally. _I need to stop talking._

He laughed on the other end. And our conversation went on successfully. It was my one sunshine moment in the dark cloud that was Bankotsu.

When my time at the summer camp was over, so was my summer. I returned back to Skidmore College after celebrating my birthday with my family, Eri, Yuka and Ayumi.

* * *

My senior year was, as I remember it, my busiest year. I spent most of my mornings and evenings studying or working as an intern for the financial aid office. My nights were again spent with Inuyasha, just talking about how busy life had gotten for both of us. Now that he had graduated from high school, he was mostly working a night schedule and usually slept in the mornings.

We had an argument, in which Inuyasha was back to being curious about the real me.

" _Why? Why can't I see even a picture of you?_ "

Not knowing how to answer, I typed back: " _..._ " I was having those same old fears again.. _What if he sees what I really look like and decides that he doesn't really like me after all?_ Although they were groundless fears, I still wasn't sure whether or not I should go through with it.

" _You know what? It's fine._ "

" _What does that mean?_ "

" _It means that I'm tired of reaching for the top shelf. I exhaust all my emotions and you run away, not facing it._ "

By "it", I knew he meant reality. _But.. If I really did reveal myself, then I could really no longer hide from him. If he knew my real self, then I could never run._

"... _I'm sorry._ " I knew he didn't want to hear it.. _How much longer am I going to be selfish for? How much longer am I going to hide from the man I love?_ I was scared. I was nervous. I was this way because I had never had a relationship before. _He had told me that when he does come to find me, that he'd take my first kiss.._ Absentmindedly touching my lips, I wondered how that'd feel. _He's right.. I am scared to face reality.. What if.. What if I can't cure him of his depression? What if he decides after seeing me that I'm not the one?_

" _I just want us to be able to meet some day.. I know I said I'd take it slow, but you just don't seem to have any interest in us meeting. Our physical selves meeting._ "

Walking over to my computer, I sent Sango an email, asking for advice.

" _I think you should be truthful. Whatever happens, don't catfish him.. You are such an amazing person, that if he doesn't accept you, you still have us. No one is abandoning you. Don't be scared Priestess, he may also be feeling that way, you know? Perhaps he's nervous too at seeing you for the first time. Don't be scared of the things that haven't happened and accidentally miss the opportunity girl! Be strong and trust in your relationship!_ " Sango replied back.

Going back to my phone, I typed: " _You're sure you want to meet_ _?_ "

" _Yes._ "

" _Do you have a Facebook?_ "

And so we finally met on Facebook. When he sent his friend request over, I nearly fell out of my chair from my nerves. Then, regaining my composure, I accepted it and we were able to finally see what each other looked like. He looked so handsome, especially when he smiled, nothing like what I had imagined him to look like.

And his next replies were so normal, as if nothing had happened, that I had to ask.

" _So, nothing changes between us?_ "

" _Why? We're still us, babe._ "

And smiling, all my fears and assumptions seemed to melt out of my body as soon as he had said that. It felt very much like the time when I exposed Priestess. And my love for him grew.

It was in my senior year that I was blessed to meet the freshman called Ayame, whom I would later on, trust fully with my story.

It was also in my senior year that I began noticing Inuyasha's many, as Ayame would call it, "endless loops". Nearing my second semester as a senior, he began coming and going as he pleased. Sometimes, he would be on the other end, answering my texts, and other times he would answer them two or more days late. It bothered me. Not the fact that he wasn't responding in a timely fashion. Rather, it bothered me that I had no way of knowing what he was doing or thinking at those times. I worried that he was having those suicidal thoughts or stuck alone with his depression. If I had to choose between the two, I hoped it was the latter; as it started scaring me when the number of times he was hurting himself increased.

When we had an argument over this, this endless loop, we stopped talking to each other for about 2 days. On the third day, he suddenly announced, " _I'm going on a cruise._ "

Surprised, I had dropped the fact that I was mad at him to ask, _"Why?_ "

" _Tickets I got from my birthday._ "

" _Oh.._ " I didn't know how I should have reacted. _Should I be happy for him? But a cruise...How long will he be gone again?_

" _How long?_ "

" _4 days._ "

It seemed to always be 4 days. 4 seemed to be my unlucky number and I believed that.

" _Oh.. I see._ "

" _Yeah. We're leaving tomorrow. I wanted to let you know._ "

" _I hope you have lots of fun._ " _If it could help him forget his depression.. Even for just awhile.. Perhaps it's a good thing that he's going to enjoy himself.._

" _Thanks. I'll text you when I leave._ "

And that night, despite having class the next morning, I didn't sleep at all. When morning came, I was still glued to my phone, waiting for it to buzz. And when it finally did, I read his rely.

" _Hey. Heading off now._ "

I wanted to be up to read and respond to him, in case he couldn't reach me on his cruise ship.

" _Be safe! Have lots of fun! I'll be here when you get back._ "

And after classes, I walked back to my dorm. Hearing my phone buzz, I sat down on my bed, reading the latest text.

" _Hey_."

" _Hey! I thought.. I thought you left?_ "

" _I did. But before I got on the cruise, I bought a card for my phone. I can now use wifi to talk to you :)_ "

Unable to stop the smile that emerged from me, or the giddiness I felt, I replied back.

" _Yay!_ "

" _I missed you._ "

" _*hugs you* I missed you too._ "

" _*kisses your cheek*_ "

And it was like that, that I spent those 4 days with him on the cruise, very honored and happy to be by his side, our argument long forgotten.

* * *

Author's Note: Hey everyone, thank you very much for reading! As always, please leave your reviews on what you think about what you've read so far. Would you want to see more? Please favorite the story or feel free to hit the "follow" button for me, so you'll be notified first of any new chapters/stories. Thank you guys again!


	16. Chapter 16

Author's Note: Hey everyone, I hope you enjoy this fanfic, please let me know what you think, thanks! And no, of course I don't own Inuyasha. Enjoy!

Side note: "Normal parenthesis" means that someone is talking; _parentheses italicized_ means that it's a message/email and _parentheses italicized and underlined_ is Kagome's thoughts during that moment or her reflecting back on that scene. As always, enjoy!

* * *

 **Part 16: Proposal**

" _Hey._ "

" _Hey._ "

" _Wyd?_ "

Closing my book, I laid it aside. I had lost my concentration in reading a while ago. Really, I was just reading over the same sentence for the past hour.

" _I was studying. What are you doing?_ "

" _Babysitting._ "

 _Baby? He has a baby?_ Blinking, I shook off that impossible thought. _No way. Impossible…_

" _Babysitting?_ "

" _Yes. Here, let me send you a picture._ "

A few minutes after he said that, my phone buzzed, containing the new picture. But that's..

" _That's.. Quite a big baby you have there lol._ " And it was. A young boy was looking back into the camera, a smile on his face.

" _haha. He's not a baby, but I was asked to look after Kohaku for a friend._ "

Smiling, I typed back " _cute._ "

" _Shut up haha._ "

And so he spent most of that day taking care of Kohaku. When nighttime fell, Kohaku was returned back to his parents.

" _*hugs you*_ "

" _*hugs you back*_ "

I loved being in his arms and being embraced by him. I just loved his affectionate side.

" _*kisses you*"_

" _*kisses you back*_ " At this point, I had gotten used to kissing him back, used to his gentleness that I hoped he only showed towards me.

" _*plays with your hair*_ "

" _*smiles, placing my forehead against yours*_ " Since Mom had often done this to show me affection in the past, I wanted to show him my affection in this similar manner.

" _*picks you up, gently laying you down on my bed*_ "

"* _blinks, confused* hm?_ "

" _Lay with me?_ "

" _um.. ok._ "

" _*kisses your forehead* I love you_ "

"* _Reaches a hand up to touch your cheek* I know, I love you too._ " Although I usually rarely said it, due to Asian families never saying it on a daily basis, I knew he needed to hear it. He had a lot of anxieties, a lot of worries that he needed verbal confirmations for.

" _*kisses you again*_ "

" _*kisses you back*_ "

" _*pins you down*_ "

" _hm?_ "

" _Nothing *kisses your neck, trailing my left hand up your leg._ "

" _Stop._ "

" _*stops, laying down beside you*_ "

" _um..sorry._ " _Perhaps I was too harsh?_

" _*smiles*_ _It's fine haha. I said we'd take it slow, remember?_ "

" _*nods*_ " I relaxed.

" _Just stay with me then?_ "

" _Okay. ^_^"_

A month later, he would surprise me on his day off.

" _*kisses you*_ "

" _*kisses you back*_ "

" _*slips a ring on your left ring finger*_ _I want you to wear this._ "

" _But.. This is?_ "

" _Marry me?_ "

" _eh?! You're always doing everything backwards.._ "

" _haha *kisses you again* Please marry me babe._ "

And a bit confused, surprised, and shocked, if I recall correctly, I think I had said "Yes" at that moment. Everything just went by so fast, that I was still confused when it was over.

" _*pulls you onto my lap* Then you'll always be mine from now on._ "

And a few weeks later, I would surprise him back when he was at work.

" _I'm on my break babe, cmere._ "

" _*walks over to you*_ "

" _*pulls you onto my lap*_ "

" _Stick out your left hand please._ "

" _*stretches out my left hand*_ "

" _*reaches into my pocket, pulling out a red string* Have you heard of the Red String of Fate?_ "

" _No. What is it?_ "

" _Ancient myths say that if you tie a red string to yourself and your lover's pinky finger, then you'll be destined lovers, regardless of place, time, or circumstances. It can stretch or be tangled, but it won't break.. Can I tie it?_ "

" _So that's what it means *nods* go ahead._ "

" _*Ties one end around your pinky and one end on my pinky* This way, we'll always be together. ^_^_ "

" _*smiles* Thank you babe, this was a nice surprise._ "

* * *

Although I was usually the one getting jealous in the relationship, there was a time when he got jealous.

I met Hojo in my senior year. As I recall, he was a very timid man, very shy. He first approached me in the fall semester asking for homework help and again in the spring semester, also for homework help. The first time I had met him, I had given him my number for him to contact me outside of class for homework help. When I told Inuyasha about it, he didn't like the idea.

" _I gave my number to a classmate named Hojo today._ "

" _Hojo is a male?_ "

" _um yes. But he's just a classmate, nothing more._ "

" _A single male?_ "

" _I think so? Does it matter?_ "

" _I just don't want my girl to be giving her number out to another man._ "

" _It's just for homework help. Really, he's just a classmate._ "

" _.. Thanks for telling me."_

" _*hugs your back* sorrrry. I should've asked you first if it was ok._ "

" _It's fine._ "

Although he wasn't a fan of it, Inuyasha supported my decision. After helping Hojo a second time during my spring semester, Hojo's text read:

" _Hey Kagome! Thanks so much for all of your help, you've really saved my life! I owe you one ;)"_

When I told Inuyasha, he didn't like that either.

" _He was flirting with you._ "

" _Really? I don't think so. He's that way towards everyone._ "

" _He was... But, t_ _hanks for telling me._ "

" _*hugs your back* Cheer up oppa. I didn't do anything but homework with him. Mr. cool and so handsome over here, why would I neglect you?_ " This jealous side of him was unexpectedly very cute. It was a big change over the norm, and he could finally see what I had felt.

" _Ok, ok, I get it. *turns, kissing your forehead*_ "

" _Yay ^_^"_

But among our happy times, tough times always had to follow.

* * *

Author's Note: Hey everyone, thank you very much for reading! As always, please leave your reviews on what you think about what you've read so far. Would you want to see more? Please favorite the story or feel free to hit the "follow" button for me, so you'll be notified first of any new chapters/stories. Thank you guys again!


	17. Chapter 17

Author's Note: Hey everyone, I hope you enjoy this fanfic, please let me know what you think, thanks! And no, of course I don't own Inuyasha. Enjoy!

Side note: "Normal parenthesis" means that someone is talking; _parentheses italicized_ means that it's a message/email and _parentheses italicized and underlined_ is Kagome's thoughts during that moment or her reflecting back on that scene. As always, enjoy!

* * *

 **Part 17: The Close Call**

When he first asked me what I thought about someone smoking, I assumed he was talking about cigarettes. Remembering my uncle's addiction problem with cigarettes, my text discouraged him from continuing to smoke. However, it wasn't cigarettes. He was talking about weed. The drug that gave users a "high" from smoking it. Although some states have legalized weed, I was worried about possible heath problems and possible addiction; so I asked how long he had been smoking. And he said more than 3 years.. Remembering his depression and anxieties, I discouraged him from continuing to smoke. Although he listened to my concerns, he would continue to smoke and something more troubling would come up, something that I'd always remember.

I remember the night that I received this text. I remember the exact conversation. I had just stepped out of the shower and was back in my dorm room, checking my phone for messages from him. His text read:

" _I'm gonna be up all night. Not mentally right atm._ "

" _What's on your mind?_ "

" _Everything._ "

 _I could tell. He was depressed again.._

" _Will you share some of it with me?_ "

" _I really just wanna contemplate suicide._ "

Swallowing hard, I typed back " _...Why?_ "

" _No will to live._ "

" _...none at all?_ "

" _Not too sure._ "

" _What about the ones you leave behind?_ " _His family? His friends? Me? Did he consider any of our feelings?_

" _Don't really care how they feel about it, I guess."_

On baited breath, I typed back, " _...not even me?_ "

" _Honestly. no. That's just how I feel. I'm just not ok I guess._ " I didn't care for the latter part of his explanation. That just.. stung.

" _...That's so selfish of you.. When you have so many people who care about you.._ "

" _Is it?_ "

Remembering the pictures he took with his mom on Facebook, I typed back:

" _Yes. when you have friends who want to be around you, when you have family who love you. Have you seen how brightly your mom smiles in pictures with you?_ "

" _It's her natural smile. she poses well. Adorable. It's selfish eh? I'm selfish then._ "

" _...You're not considering anyone else but you.. How hurt you'll leave those around you.. Please don't go.._ "

" _You know I'm suicidal, right?_ "

" _... I thought it was getting better_."

" _No."_

" _You're strong, you've been getting through it, why give up now?"_ I didn't know why he was being so stubborn.. _Why can't any of my words get through to him at all?_

" _Why not?_

" _Because I don't want to see you dead._ "

" _You won't._ " _Was he rubbing it in that I've never met him in real life? That I just wouldn't see his body in real life?_ Shaking away the horrible thoughts, I had to think quickly.

In many short messages, I quickly typed back the reasons that came to my head at that moment.

" _Because you'll always be important to someone._

 _Because there's so much more to life._

 _Because you need to survive for those who haven't._ "

" _Both are lies. and the third is even worse._ " _He wasn't listening.. None of it was getting through to him at all._

Then, I could only speak from my heart.

" _I don't want you to go."_

" _Oh?"_

" _You have it in you to survive this long._ "

" _Not really._ "

Getting fed up with his "I don't care" attitude, I sent my next text quite rashly.

" _Damn it! You do! Why are you just giving up?_ "

" _Why not?_ "

" _Even if I told you why not, you know better than anyone why you need to keep hanging on._ "

" _I don't._ "

" _You do. That's why you've fought for this long._ "

" _I don't_."

Knowing that he was starting to slip. That he might just slip away from me, I took a deep breath, and released it, over and over again. Squeezing my hands into fists and releasing over and over, helped to take the shaky edge away. For the first time in my life, I was terrified. I didn't know what to do. What would I do if I lost him? What would happen? What consequences lay in wait in this dark path? Hitting the side of my head, I shook myself out of it. _No. Right now, he needs me.. Now more than ever.. I can't focus on myself. I need to be strong for him. Even if he pushes me out.. If I can help to save him.. If my words carry any weight at all in his heart.._

" _If others won't give up on you, why are you giving up on yourself..?_

 _Dying is such an easy, cowardly way out._

 _You're really only strong when you prove to others and most importantly yourself wrong by staying alive._

 _I know my replies seem suckish, but I don't know what exactly to say, I don't know what to do._

 _.. I just can't stop shaking to type down my thoughts.. I don't want you to go at all!_ "

He didn't reply that night. And I didn't sleep. No. I couldn't bear to sleep while he was suffering somewhere far off, by himself. _I'm helpless once again in this situation.._ Laying in bed wide awake, I held onto my phone tightly. Waiting for a buzz, waiting for a reply. Minutes ticked by, hours moved slowly as I waited. Nothing.

Hearing my alarm go off, I turned it off and went to class. My brain took down the notes, while my heart wasn't there. It was still waiting for him.

Around noon time, I went to lunch, where I was able to check my messages. His reply read:

" _I'm okay?_

 _Thank you so much._ "

" _Why?_ "

" _I'm not sure._ "

" _But you're ok now?_ "

" _I'm being social to improve my mood but I'm better._ "

Finally relieved, I put down my phone. Wanting and feeling like I might face-palm my full soup soon, I moved it out of the way to lie my head down. _That's great.. He's alright now.. I'm so happy. So happy._ Smiling softly, I re-read his message, before writing back a response.

" _I think that's great. the best way to go about depression and those types of feelings you've been having lately is to keep yourself busy. Hanging out with people more, attending events, having a job, hobbies.. just keep yourself busy. Life gets better. No matter what you're dealing with. And how awful it may seem, there's always a light at the end of the tunnel. And the people in your life that love and care for you so much (including me) are willing to help you reach that light. I care about you so much. There's always something to look forward to in life. Please don't hold back talking to me about whatever it is that's giving you trouble. I'm here."_

" _Thank you._ " His newest text read.

Finally feeling the emotional toll it took on my body, I covered my face, set a timer on my phone, and napped in the dining hall.

* * *

Author's Note: Hey everyone, thank you very much for reading! As always, please leave your reviews on what you think about what you've read so far. Would you want to see more? Please favorite the story or feel free to hit the "follow" button for me, so you'll be notified first of any new chapters/stories. Thank you guys again!


	18. Chapter 18

Author's Note: Hey everyone, I hope you enjoy this fanfic, please let me know what you think, thanks! And no, of course I don't own Inuyasha. Enjoy!

Side note: "Normal parenthesis" means that someone is talking; _parentheses italicized_ means that it's a message/email and _parentheses italicized and underlined_ is Kagome's thoughts during that moment or her reflecting back on that scene. As always, enjoy!

* * *

 **Part 18: Ayame**

I remember the first time I met Ayame. She had red hair and was within a group of her freshmen friends. Back then, she seemed to be the sweetest, happiest girl I'd ever come across in my life. She was always so upbeat, smiling while hanging out with her friends. While hanging out with her, I began to trust her more and more. After the close call, I was emotionally shaken up and finally decided to come clean to Ayame, since I trusted in her kind and observant nature.

"..So, that's where we are now." Done with my story, I looked up and into her face. While we were supposed to be studying, we had rented out a private room in the school's library to discuss things.

She leaned back in her chair, the front legs coming off from the ground as she lightly rocked back and forth in thought.

"Wow.. To think, such a person like you would be holding such a huge secret for awhile.. You've been dealing with this all by yourself until now?"

I nodded, feeling wave after wave of relief rush out of my body. _Finally. Finally. Finally, I could tell someone about this._

"Then," She stopped rocking her chair and sat up. Leaning in close to me, she said, "I have something to tell you too."

And she told me about her own secret love affair. How she also liked a younger boy, by the name of Koga, and how if she had told her parents, they might be opposed of it too. How she had confided in her roommate and another friend, but received the insulting term "cougar", thrown at her by the latter while laughing. I could hear her pain, the pain of the insult stinging me back as well. _How would I react if I was called a cougar?_ I wouldn't know how to handle it, even coming from a friend.. I was shocked. _How strange, how ironically funny was it that we were both stuck in the same situation? The only differences being that my relationship was an online one and hers was not, and that Inuyasha was pretty unstable. It felt like God's personal joke. Like God was creating similar situations and seeing our reactions from above. Who would win and conquer? Who would fail and lose it all? And to put us in the same place, meet each other, and become friends? It felt too fated to be true._

I couldn't believe she was stuck in this love boat with me. In public, we would from this point on, use the secret code "love boat" when referencing this topic.

I leaned back in my chair, trying to process everything that had been said in this private room. Where the glass and closed door hid our conversation from the rest of the world, this room seemed to be our safe haven. Like it had been, and always was waiting for us to come and discuss our private matters. There was silence for awhile, as both of us contemplated each other's stories. So similar, and yet so different.

We smiled at each other, holding hands briefly to confirm the existence of the other. _Finally, someone who could understand me.._

"Your situation seems so complicated.. It's like a fairy tale story! You've never met him in real life. He's never met you.. Still, you both really love each other, huh?"

"Yes. And you, you really like Koga but haven't figured out what to say to the parents, huh? You guys are truly like Romeo and Juliet."

"Yes. But I've been writing these letters.. Organizing my thoughts and what I want to say to them."

"And how's that coming along?"

She smiled, chuckling a little. "It's getting there.. They're rough drafts that I hope I'll have the courage one day to eventually show them."

I smiled back. "You're so much luckier than me.. You've met your lover.. Confirmed your love. And he doesn't seem to be suffering like Inuyasha is.." Looking away, I felt a knot in my chest. "He's been suffering alone for these past 3 years.. I want to help share his burdens.. I want to help relieve him of his pain and the hurt that he feels. I love him but it's becoming so hard to communicate with him on this.. He's not willing to listen to me.. And I can't do anything." I slid my arm down the table, resting my head on it.

Seeing her do the same, she said, "His endless loops.. How long is it taking him to reply now?"

".. The last time his test came in was about 2 days ago. Even now, my phone has gotten no texts." Reminded of that, I used my other hand to lazily pick up my phone and check for messages. Nothing.

"You've been staying up at night waiting for his texts? Is that why you're always up so late at night?"

Since she lived in the room next to mine in the dorm hall, she knew my sleeping schedule. "..Yeah."

"Don't stay up for him. You need sleep too, girl. You'll damage your body if you do that. I believe that your place in his heart is more important than you think it is. After all, the one who he contacted was you during his depressed state. He didn't talk to anyone else. Just you! You're special to him, and you must continue believing that."

I didn't respond. I knew she was right, but I couldn't convince my heart to stop constantly checking for messages. I needed to stay up, to be here in case he needed me.

Finally I said what had been on my mind since the close call.

"What bothers me the most.. Is that, its not like I'll be losing him to another woman. I'll be losing him to himself... I mean, how do you even defend against that?"

She went silent. I could tell that she was thinking of what to say, thinking of what advice to give, but not concluding on any. Finally, checking the time, she said, "Let's go. It's getting pretty late. We spent most of our time on this. It's a problem that won't take a day to solve anyway.." Smiling, she gently nudged my hand.

"Ok." I got up, packing my unopened textbooks back into my backpack. I grabbed my phone with my right hand, keeping it in my hand in case he suddenly texted me. _When did I get so attached to my phone? When was the last time it left my side?_ I didn't know. We walked out of the building together, the cold air chilling us to the bones as soon as we stepped outside. I could feel my right hand getting colder and colder but I never let go.

Reaching our separate rooms, Ayame leaned over, hugging me. I hugged her back, feeling my pain slowly settling down. "Don't wait up tonight. Go to sleep."

Jokingly, I said, "You know I won't. Staying up is my specialty."

She smiled, said goodnight and walked into her room. I opened my door and slid inside. Taking my coat and shoes off, I laid on the bed, and again checked for messages. None.

" _Hey._ " I texted him first.

" _Hey._ "

A reply. I sat up, typing back, " _What are you up to?_ "

" _Gaming._ "

 _So he was gaming this whole time.._ Sighing, I lay back down and typed back, " _Oh._ "

" _*pulls you close* I missed you._ "

 _No. I was the one who missed him. While he was gaming, I never let go of my phone._

" _I missed you too. *hugs your back*_ "

" _What's the matter?_ "

" _Just really missed you. What took you so long?_ "

" _I hurt myself again.._ "

Gulping, I put my phone down briefly. _There it was. He hurt himself again._ I had lost count of how many times that had happened. Whether it was another cut and hours of bleeding, or a nosebleed, or a bone being popped out and him having to crack it back into place.. I had lost count.

" _What happened?_ " And there it was, my repeated question.

" _Cut my arm._ " And there it was, my helpless feelings were resurfacing.

" _Are you ok now?_ " _Another stupid question.._

" _Yeah._ "

He just felt so.. Distant. Beside the fact that we probably lived hours and hours away, he just felt so far away from me. In the past, we would always be together. Even when I felt sick, he would tell me to stay by his side. However, it wasn't that way now. _It wasn't the same.. Would it ever be the same, like before?_

" _Hug me?_ " To me, this wasn't a question. I needed to feel that he was still here.. That he still liked me..

" _You actually want me to?_ "

 _So distant.. He felt so distant._ An image of myself trying to hug him and him disappearing from my arms popped into my mind. " _Please?_ " I knew I had lost it. My pride. I just wanted him.

" _*hugs you*_ "

" _*hugs you back*_ "

And these endless loops would continue, sometimes worse than this.

* * *

"How's that boat, Kagome?" Ayame was stretched out on a sofa in the common room.

"How to say it.. It's like, you're on the boat and I've fallen out.. For now. I'm asking you to throw a life preserver over to me and you give me an oar, because it's the only thing on the boat."

Both of us laughed, something we desperately needed. Something that helped distract us from our current problems.

"That bad, huh?"

"Oh! Oh! And you've given me the wrong end of the oar so everything is much harder." I sat on the floor, still laughing.

"Oh my, that's not good at all." She smiled. "Don't die on me!"

"I'll try not to, but my luck hasn't been good at all."

"Have you talked to Yura about this?"

Yura was my friend since freshman year. She was friends with Kanna, Kagura and Naraku. Among those three, she was the only one who continued to talk to me after I separated from Kanna and got a single room. I had only recently introduced Ayame to Yura.

"No."

"Why not?"

"Knowing Yura, her answer will most likely be a negative one. She'll probably disapprove."

"You never know Kagome. She might offer advice?"

Looking over at her, I changed the subject. "Have you told your parents yet?"

She looked down at the ground. "Perhaps I'm in the water with you."

 _That's a no then._ "No, you've just gotten a hole in the boat. It's leaking." I replied, a faint smile on my face.

"We're a mess." She laughed.

"Are we truly? Or is it our environment?"

"Ah, true!"

"What does Koga look like?" I climbed over, sitting next to her on the sofa. I was really curious. Who could charm this beautiful girl?

She reached into her pocket, pulling out her phone and flipped through some pictures before finally showing one to me. His boyish smile lit his face as he held Ayame around the waist, poising for the camera.

"Ah, you guys look so cute together!" I smiled, handing back her phone.

"And you. This oh-so-mysterious man. What does he look like?" She winked at me.

I realized then that Ayame and Inuyasha were probably the same age. As he should've been a freshman if he had continued with his schooling like Ayame. Reaching into my pocket, I pulled out my phone and showed her a picture.

"Oh, he is cute."

It was the first time someone other than me had seen his picture. It was the first time someone other than me was confirming it.

"Yes. He's very handsome." Stretching out my hand, I gently took the phone back, to stare into the picture. _And such a guy likes me. It's so hard to believe._ And yet, there he was, smiling into the camera as he held his phone above his head. _He was so very skinny.. Was he eating well? Sleeping well?_

* * *

We had skipped over Valentine's Day due to another one of his endless loops. Neither of us had time for the other on that day. And a few days later, he texted me.

" _Hey._ "

" _Hey! ^_^"_

" _Happy Valentine's Day._ "

" _eh? But Valentine's Day is over._ "

" _Then we'll specially celebrate it. I'm sorry we skipped over it._ "

To be honest, I wasn't mad at him. I just figured he had gotten busy like I had with my studies.

" _It's ok. I was busy that day anyway._ "

" _*kisses you*_ "

" _*smiles* This is the first Valentine's Day that I've spent with someone._ " _I could always tell him everything. I didn't know why, but it was always so easy for me to communicate with him when he wasn't depressed.._

" _Oh? Is that so?_ "

" _Yes. ^_^_ "

" _I can tell that you're happy._ "

" _Really_ _?_ "

" _Yes, you haven't stopped smiling._ "

Looking up, I realized he was right. I couldn't wipe the smile off my face. In fact, I couldn't help but feel so happy. Squealing in delight, I tossed my arms up, careful of my phone in my hand. I didn't want to accidentally hit the call button again. I hadn't prepared myself for the next call, if he did call me.

" _Can't help it when I'm with you._ " I wrote back.

" _Cute *kisses you*_ "

" _*kisses you back_ _*_ "

" _*picks you up, carrying you outside and placing you on the bench*_ "

" _What are you doing? lol._ "

" _I said I wanted to make it special. You love the moon._ "

" _And you love the stars!_ " I walked over to my window, pulling back the shade to stare up at the night sky. _"They're shining brightly tonight._ "

" _Yes, they are *puts my head on your lap*_ "

" _*smiles* Lightly playing with your hair._ "

" _*purrs*_ "

" _*Laughs* weirdo._ "

" _I'm your weirdo though._ "

" _*lightly flicks your forehead* yes, and I'm stuck with you lol_ "

" _oww_."

" _Ah, too hard? Did that hurt?" I chuckled, he was such a kid._

" _*kisses your hand* no, I'm strong._ "

" _*kisses your forehead* Let's just stay here looking at the moon and stars for awhile?_ "

" _Sure._ "

"... _Will we be able to do this again, next year?_ " This time, I was the one who needed his verbal confirmation.

" _Every single year from now, we'll celebrate Valentine's Day together._ "

" _Promise?_ "

" _I promise._ "

" _*holds out my right pinkie* Pinky promise?_ " To me, pinky promises were the ultimate types of promises.

" _*smiles, locking our pinkies* I promise._ "

And it was the best Valentine's Day that I had ever had.

* * *

One time, I had been too busy to reply to Inuyasha. I had set my phone aside to study for an exam. After my exam, I picked it up to see no new messages from him. _Another endless loop_ , I thought. Then, going onto Facebook during my lunch hour, I re-shared pictures and posts that I found funny or liked. That night, I got a text.

" _Sup?_ "

 _It was this attitude again.. Did something upset him?_

" _Oh hey :)_ "

" _Wyd?_ "

" _In my room, and was about to study. What about you?_ "

" _Chilling._ "

" _..Is something wrong?_ "

" _Does something always have to be wrong for me to text you?_ "

I was confused. _Did I say something wrong?_

" _No. I just.. I just thought something was wrong. I mean, you just sound different._ "

" _Nope._ "

 _Something was definitely wrong. He was doing it again. Not admitting to anything and throwing a "cool" attitude. Not treating me like his "girlfriend", but more like his "bud"._

" _..."_ And there it was, I didn't know what to say in this sort of situation. I couldn't wrap my brain around it.

" _Don't run away._ "

" _I'm not. I just don't know what to say.._ "

" _Are you cheating?_ " It wasn't the first time he had asked me this.

" _Do you really believe that?_ " _He doubted me?_

" _Answer the question._ " He was too demeaning. I hated this side of him.. The suspicious side, the side full of doubts and stomping over other people's feelings.

" _No._ " He already knew this though. I had told him that I wanted to be like Usagi Tsukino, loving only one man for my life.

" _Ok._ "

 _What kind of crappy response was that?_

" _Satisfied now?_ " I knew I was being sarcastic. I didn't care.

" _Don't give me that sarcastic reply. Are you hiding something?_ "

" _Why are you asking me that?_ " _He should've known my answer better than anyone!_

" _Answer the question._ "

" _No._ "

" _Then why are you being all secretive? I've looked at your posts, why are your posts all cryptic?_ "

I had no idea what he was talking about. _What cryptic posts? When was I being secretive? He looked at my Facebook posts?_

" _What are you talking about? Why are you so paranoid right now?_ "

I was worried that something had happened to him.

" _...I'm sorry. It's been rough._ "

 _Why was he always living such a hard life?_

" _It's ok. Are you ok?_ "

" _Yes._ " _No, he wasn't. But he didn't want me to worry, so he was saying yes._

* * *

And another time, Inuyasha didn't reply to my text. Getting into bed, I sent him a text so that he wouldn't wait up.

" _Hey. I'm heading to bed, don't wait up."_

Turning off my light, I closed my eyes and was about to drift off when I heard my phone buzz.

" _Don't do that._ "

" _Do what?_ " Too lazy to turn the light back on, I sat up in the dark and replied to his text. _Did he see me turn off the light?_

" _That. Lying to me. I don't have the fucking time for it._ "

" _What are you even talking about?_ " Although I had usually said "I'm heading to bed" and waited for his response, I wasn't doing that this time.

" _You always end up, staying up all night waiting for my reply. You say you'll head to bed just to get me to reply. Don't do that, I'm working right now._ "

" _You noticed.. But I'm not doing that now. I am really going to sleep. It's late._ " And I still had classes tomorrow morning.. I wondered if I was being selfish.

" _Whatever._ "

Sighing, I clicked off my phone and put it on my desk, accidentally slamming my hand into the bed frame. "Ouch!" Biting my lip, I shook my hand. _It's God's cruel joke. It must be.._ Touching the wall with my other hand, I imagined Ayame sleeping on the other side of the wall. _How nice it must be to be the one blessed on this love boat.. How nice it must be to be in the boat, rather than constantly sinking.._ Laying back down, I closed my eyes and had restless dreams that night.

* * *

The next night, Ayame sat with me in the deserted common room.

"How's that endless loop? Get it untangled yet?"

I looked over at Ayame, shaking my head no.

"Wanna talk about it?"

I showed her my phone.

"Oh, boy.. Well, depression and anxiety has a way of messing with people.. Looks like your man has it bad."

I walked away, looking out the window.

"I just.. I just want to watch the stars." I wasn't in the mood to talk. I wasn't in the mood to do anything. I didn't even want to check my phone. Ultimately..running away again.

"...Do you want me to leave you alone?"

I shook my head. If she left too, then I would really be all alone. Turning my back on her, I sat on the floor and looked at the stars out the window. They were shining so brightly tonight. _Did he see them too? Was he watching them?_ Only when I was looking at the stars could I relax. Although we might be in different places now, we were under the same sky, both of us would be able to see this view. I could feel myself on the verge of crying, but I didn't want to in front of others. _No. I have to be strong._

A few days later, a text came in.

" _Hey._ "

" _Hey._ "

" _I'm sorry. Life got to me. You ran away, right?_ "

" _...yes._ "

" _*hugs you* I'm sorry. I'm here now, so don't run away, ok?_ "

" _*hugs you back, nodding against your chest* ok._ "

" _*plays with your hair* I missed you._ "

And so this endless loop would continue.

* * *

It wasn't until it was nearing finals that I saw Ayame cry. Getting a text from her, I quickly ran to the common room. Opening the door, I saw her slumped over one of the chairs, her face buried in her hands.

Getting on my knees, I jokingly said, "I don't know what to do if you cry. I have no tissues on me."

She sniffed, "That's ok. Sorry."

"For?"

"You seeing me like this."

"You're still very beautiful." She looked up, her makeup smeared, a faint smile on her face as she tried to wipe away her tears.

"Thanks.. You're so sweet."

I smiled, sitting down on the floor next to her, waiting until her tears stopped. "Wanna talk about it?"

"Monster roommate..keeps pushing." She said in between hiccups.

Her roommate had reminded me of Kanna. Overbearing types that liked to have control. And because this "Monster Roommate" as we nicknamed her, had come to know Ayame's secret affair, she had not stopped nagging her to come clean to her parents with a final draft of the letter. In reality, it was none of monster roommate's business. She was just adding to Ayame's stress and pressuring her beyond belief.

Hugging her, I tried my best to comfort her.

"This love boat.. I'm really glad I'm no longer on it alone." I said to her. "Thank goodness I met you and told you about things.. Otherwise, I would've sunk by now."

She smiled, still sniffling. "It's ok, we'll ride this love boat together."

"No matter what path it takes, no matter how dark the waters are ahead, we'll have each other." I meant every word.

* * *

Author's Note: Hey everyone, thank you very much for reading! As always, please leave your reviews on what you think about what you've read so far. Would you want to see more? Please favorite the story or feel free to hit the "follow" button for me, so you'll be notified first of any new chapters/stories. Thank you guys again!


	19. Chapter 19

Author's Note: Hey everyone, I hope you enjoy this fanfic, please let me know what you think, thanks! And no, of course I don't own Inuyasha. Enjoy!

Side note: "Normal parenthesis" means that someone is talking; _parentheses italicized_ means that it's a message/email and _parentheses italicized and underlined_ is Kagome's thoughts during that moment or her reflecting back on that scene. As always, enjoy!

* * *

 **Part 19: Yura**

When I finally confessed to Yura, we were on our way to watch a play. At that moment, we were sitting in the school bus, with few other students.

"So, any news on Kagura and Naraku?" I knew she kept in touch with them, despite knowing everything. She was the type that needed peace and not fights.

"Why? Still got the hots for Naraku?" She smirked and winked at me, nudging my side.

"No. Not anymore. Well?"

"Naraku broke up with her. She's different now that they've split. It's like she's herself again, you know?"

"You mean, she's not a robot anymore, stuck to his side and doing as he says?" I looked at Yura in surprise. I remembered when Kagura had slapped Yura sophomore year because Yura had been too close to Naraku for comfort.. She had gone from a happy anime loving girl to turning on her friends and ignoring her school work for Naraku.

"That's right. She's her old self again."

"And Naraku? What happened to him?"

"Works in a local bakery after he graduated, since he was a year ahead of us. He's got a new girlfriend now."

"The boy works fast." I laughed. Everything had turned out for the better, I guess. Now, it was time to come clean to Yura, my best friend.

Then, I decided to tell her my story.

"... And that's where we're at now." I took a breath, looking at her.

She averted my eyes, looking out the small window instead. A few minutes later, she asked softly, "Do you want the truth or support?"

"The truth.." I swallowed, ready for what she was about to throw at me.

"I think you should break up with him. End it now. The deeper you fall for him, the more hurt you'll be when this is all over. Just regard him as a beautiful memory and let go." She now turned to me, who looked down. "I'm saying this for your own good… I've been there. In an online relationship with a guy from Texas. I loved him very much too, but I never told anyone, like you.."

 _She had a secret love affair too?_ Looking up, I stared at her in shock. "You did? Really?"

"Yes, really."

"What happened?"

She took a pause. Then said in a slow voice, "He cheated. I found out about his second girlfriend through Facebook and we teamed up against that lying dirt bag.. Not the point. The point is, you need to end it. Now. End it. Or else, you will realize one day that he's not the one. Or worse case scenario, he will and then he'll end it. Do you really want that?"

I shook my head. "He's different than that guy.. He hates people who cheat and lie."

"...Dwelling on something you can never have is being greedy. Unable to let go of something you already lost is being stubborn. Never having what you lost previously is being presumptuous.. Listen to me and let go of those obsessions and greed so you can live the rest of your life peacefully. Like I did when I broke up with that guy."

I remembered her boyfriend Kagewaki Hitomi, whom I had met in real life. A sweet guy, who didn't say much. I was happy for Yura, but I knew deep down, that I couldn't follow her advice. I needed to make my own decisions. Even if, in the long run it turned out to hurt me.

* * *

"So? Did you tell her?" Ayame asked later that night in the library's private room.

"I did."

"And? She approved?"

I shook my head.

"She disapproved?"

I nodded. "Her words stung. They just keep ringing in my head.. I know that she wants me to not follow the same path as her.. To not get hurt.." I looked Ayame in the eyes. "You both do. I can see that."

Ayame sat down across from me. "Yes."

"But I need to make my own decisions.. I've decided. No matter the outcome.. No matter if I get hurt ultimately in the end.. I want to be in love with him. I want to continue this romance. I want to give it a try." I took her hands in mine, lightly squeezing. "You guys are trying to protect me from so much.. Thank you. But I want to learn and I want to grow up. No. I need to experience this. I can't have you guys shielding me because I'll never grow up and learn that way. I trust him. I love him. Let me stay by his side?"

She smiled, as a tear started to fall from her right eye and then she got up, running over to hug me tightly. "You've grown Kagome.. You want to persist in this love, you're sure of that?"

I nodded against her shoulder. "It's my decision. Although his endless loops are really painful to keep loving him sometimes, I still do, I still love him."

"However, remember that love cannot be forced. Sometimes, even if you've worked hard, there may not be any results. Don't be too sad in the long run."

"I won't know that unless I try."

And we hugged for a while, the two of still sailing on the love boat.

* * *

" _Hey._ "

" _Hey._ "

" _*hugs your back* wyd?_ "

I looked up from my stack upon stack of papers. " _Studying. How are you feeling?_ "

" _I'm good._ "

" _Have you eaten?_ " I looked at my clock. _11 PM. It was pretty late. And he was an hour behind my time._

" _Yes. I just wanted to spend some time with you._ "

I smiled. His affectionate side was so sweet.

" _*smiles* That so?_ "

" _*kisses your neck* mhm. So spend some time with me._ "

" _Alright ^_^"_

" _*gently kisses you*"_

"* _kisses you back as gently*_ " I didn't want what had happened today to ruin the moment. I just wanted to be in his arms.

" _*Gently turns you, still kissing you_ *"

" _*wraps my arms around you, while kissing you back*_ "

" _*lowers you to my bed*_ "

" _Hm? *looks up at you*_ "

" _... I really want you. If we had met differently.. In real life, I'd have made you a mother by now._ "

" _If you had met me differently.. In real life, I don't know if we would have gotten together.._ "

" _Oh? Why is that?_ "

" _I just don't know if you'd have liked me in real life.._ "

" _You're the one who spoke to me first._ "

" _True, but.. Who knows if you'd have fallen for me in real life?_ "

" _I wouldn't have liked you. I would've loved you. You're still you, even in real life._ "

" _*smiles* thank you._ "

" _*gently moves your head to my heart* hear that?_ "

" _hm?_ " _What was he doing?_

" _It's beating only for you. My heart is yours._ "

It was so cheesy, but I loved it.

" _But what if you get bored of me?_ "

" _Babe, I've loved you for 3 years already, and it's still ongoing. I promise, I'll never be bored of you._ "

" _*pinches your cheeks* Cheeky._ "

" _*smiles, kissing your forehead* Cheeky, but yours._ "

" _*smiles back* shut up._ "

" _Make me._ "

" _*sticks out my tongue*_ "

" _*kisses you*_

"* _kisses you back* I made you lol_ "

" _Oh? *squeezes your ass*_ "

" _*lightly hits you with a pillow* perv_ "

" _I'm your perv though._ "

I couldn't stop the laugh that escaped my lips. Yes. I definitely wanted to be with him forever.

* * *

"me... ome... gome.. Kagome!"

I blinked, snapping out of my daydream to look over at Yura, who was visiting my room.

"Yes!"

She gave me a confused expression, then asked, "you're still thinking of Inuyasha, aren't you?"

Sighing, I said back, "don't ask me that. It's annoying."

"You're running away again?"

"What's wrong with running away?"

"Running away can't solve the problem!" Yura got up, placing her hands on my shoulders. "Listen, you need to end it. Before you fall any deeper.. Is it worth it?!"

"It's not a matter of worth! I just love him." I averted my eyes. She was my best friend.. But she didn't support my decision.

"I'm just worried for you. I'm not out to harm you Kagome."

Looking back into her eyes, I said calmly, "then let me make my own choices. Let me make my own mistakes. Let me grow and learn what love is. If I don't try my best, I'll regret not trying. I'll regret giving him up so easily."

She sighed, letting go of my shoulders. "Forget it."

I placed my right hand on her shoulder, "it's ok. No matter the outcome, its ok."

"Why?"

"Because I have you guys. Because I have you and I have Ayame to support me if I fall. So I'm not afraid to try. Ok?"

"Ok." A slight smile came onto her face as she patted my back. "We'll always be here."

* * *

Author's Note: Hey everyone, thank you very much for reading! As always, please leave your reviews on what you think about what you've read so far. Would you want to see more? Please favorite the story or feel free to hit the "follow" button for me, so you'll be notified first of any new chapters/stories. Thank you guys again!


	20. Chapter 20

Author's Note: Hey everyone, I hope you enjoy this fanfic, please let me know what you think, thanks! And no, of course I don't own Inuyasha. Enjoy!

Side note: "Normal parenthesis" means that someone is talking; _parentheses italicized_ means that it's a message/email and _parentheses italicized and underlined_ is Kagome's thoughts during that moment or her reflecting back on that scene. As always, enjoy!

* * *

 **Part 20: Sesshomaru**

"Kagome, can you get this guy in the financial aid office? He's a freshman and has a lot of work that still needs to be filled out for the spring semester. We've tried calling, emailing, but he hasn't replied. Maybe you'll have some luck, as you're a senior?"

"Um.. Sure. I'll try." I picked up his file, looking briefly at his name. _Sesshomaru, huh?_ Sitting down at one of the computers, I sent him an email, making sure to be polite and pointing out that his missing information would need to be filled in before we could continue with processing his file.

A few days later, a man taller than me would enter the building, stopping at the front desk where I was typing an email at the time. I looked up. "May I help you?" I asked.

"Ah, yes. I'm looking for a Miss. Kagome? I got an email asking me to come to this building."

Smiling, I rose from my seat and held out my hand. "I'm Kagome, nice to meet you Sesshomaru."

He seemed surprised but shook my hand firmly. "Likewise.. You're a student?"

I nodded, letting go of his hand to cross behind and sift through student files until I saw his file.

"You're a junior?" He asked.

"Senior." Spinning back around, I held out his file for him. "A lot of people mistake me for a freshman though.."

"Well, I would too.. But you work here so I assumed you had to be a junior or senior." He smiled as he took the file. "You just look very young."

I laughed. "Yes, so everyone tells me. You can take a seat over there," I pointed to a seat across from the desk. "A financial adviser will be out shortly to assist you."

"I see, thanks." He turned, taking a seat on the chair, as I buzzed for a financial adviser to come out.

A few days later, as I walked into the dining hall, I noticed Sesshomaru sitting by himself with the school's latest edition of the newspaper out in front of him.

"Sesshomaru, right?" I asked, bringing my food over to him.

He looked up surprised. "Yes."

I smiled, "do you mind if I sit with you?"

He gestured toward the empty seat. "No, go ahead."

I sat down, placing my tray of food on the table. "Anything interesting in the paper?"

He chuckled. "Not much. Just the same old, really. How's your day been?"

"Busy." I took a bite of my sandwich. "Do you always sit alone?"

"I'm new here, being a transfer student and all."

"Then, if you want, you can sit with me at the dining hall from now on." I knew how it felt to be eating alone. I had experienced that when I left Kanna, Kagura, and Naraku.

"Thanks, I'll take you up on that offer." He smiled and we became instant friends. In the days to pass, Sesshomaru would tell me about how he and his girlfriend met in Paris.

"I was backpacking in Paris, when I heard it. A lovely flute rang out at night. Curious, I went over to investigate and that's when I met Sara Asano."

"Aw! That's such a sweet love story! And have you continued with Sara?"

"Yes. I realized that she also lived in New York and was just visiting Paris. To this day, we're still dating. Long relationship dating anyway."

I could see the love in his eyes for her, the smile that graced his face as he recalled the time they met, and the happiness he felt to share his story.

"Ah so romantic~! Paris, the city of romance. What a dream!" Having finished my dinner, I took a sip from my water.

"And you? Any boyfriend story?"

I nearly spat back out my water, into his face. Coughing, I shook my head. _Woah.. Too close. I don't want to tell just anyone.. What if they didn't understand?_

"Hm.. Then we'll have to fix that." He pointed behind me at an Asian international student. "How about that guy?"

"No."

"Then that guy?" He pointed at another Asian international student.

"Nope."

"How about that one?"

"No thanks."

"And that one?"

And this would continue on for the next few weeks or so.

"What about that one? He looks cute."

"If you think so, then you should date him." Picking my tray up I walked over to empty it. I knew he had good intentions, but this was just getting repetitive.

"I would, if I was into guys." He reappeared by my side, grabbing my shoulder, he pointed to an Asian female. "What about her? She's cute."

"I'm not into women." I said, lightly rolling my eyes.

"Well, how would I know that? You don't show any interest in anyone." He smirked.

My mind flashed to Inuyasha, the picture of him smiling back at the camera. Smiling, it seemed, only for me.

"Perhaps I'm not interested then." I walked back to the table to grab my backpack.

Walking behind me, he wrapped his right arm around me, drawing me close to his body and used his left to point at a young professor. "What about that guy?"

"He's a professor!" I hissed, feeling the urge to flick his forehead.

"Then, that one?" He pointed across the dining hall at an older professor, eating a wrap.

"He's old!" I pushed his arm off, slinging my backpack around me. _Definitely can't tell him about Inuyasha.. He would turn the secret affair into a not-so-secret affair._

"So?" He laughed, running to catch up with me. "Perhaps you'd like that?"

I rolled my eyes. "Not as much as you'd like that, it seems."

"Lighten up Kagome." Again, he slung his right arm over me, pulling me to his side.

I sighed. _I didn't have the time for fooling around like this._ "I'm off to class, let go." I went to move his hand but it didn't budge.

"I'll walk with you." He said, pulling me along with him. We reached a door and he held it open for me, who pushed off his hand and walked briskly through it and through the next door. He reappeared on my right side, this time putting his left arm around me. As I turned left, he pulled me close. "Where are you going?"

"My class is that way." I said raising my arm to point to the left.

"No. Come with me, and take the long way."

I shook my head, shaking off his arm and continued walking briskly.

"See you at dinner?" He shouted behind me.

I turned slightly to give him a thumbs up and a wave. "Till then!" I called back, before rushing to my class.

Sesshomaru was a good person, a good friend, although he really loved to fool around. And because he was always so close to girls, he was often mistaken for a natural womanizer. In reality, Sesshomaru wasn't that bad of a person. Perhaps he didn't know boundaries, but he always had a positive attitude.

Later that night, I went to the dining hall for dinner. As I was handing my card over to the lady to swipe, I felt arms wrap around my stomach and pull me backwards. Yes, it was Sesshomaru.

"Kagome! There you are!"

"Ah. Sesshomaru! You scared me." I pulled at his arms until he let go. Giving my card to the lady, I waited for her to swipe and give it back to me.

"Sorry, I saw your backpack and just thought I'd surprise you." He reached over me, handing his card to the lady to swipe.

"It was a surprise all right." I smiled at him. _Positive as always._

"C'mon." His right arm wrapped around me, pulling me into the dining hall. "Who should we pick out this time?"

I sighed. _He didn't have to do this._ "You.. " He cut off my sentence.

"Me? I can't do. I have a girlfriend." He smirked over at me, who hit his side.

"Not what I was gonna say. I was going to say that you don't have to do this. Or do you like doing this?"

"It's fun." Using his pointer finger, he picked out another Asian international student. "Him?"

"Not interested." I put my things down at a random table and talked into the cafeteria.

"What about that one?" He pointed to a server.

"Nope." I said flatly.

"Kagome!"

I turned, and saw Ayame heading towards me. "Are you sitting alone?" She asked, a smile on her face.

"Sitting with Sesshomaru." I nodded over to him. "Wanna join?"

"Sure."

Looking at how they interacted, I figured they might have known each other, from being in the same class year and all. So we grabbed our dinners and went back to our seats.

"And so I'm thinking of working in this dining hall." Ayame was saying.

"I think that's great, it'll give you something to do other than school work and you'll get paid." I said as I took my seat. Sesshomaru sat down next to me, leaving Ayame to sit across from me.

"Yeah, and you'll be able to add that to your resume." Sesshomaru murmured as he took a sip from his water.

"Ah, I forgot to grab some soup.." Getting up, I said, "I'll be right back" before leaving them with my things.

When I came back, I sat my soup down in front of me and was about to check for messages on my phone, when I realized that it was missing.

 _Oh no! What if.. What if something has happened to my phone? Did I leave it or drop it somewhere? What if Inuyasha has something he needed to tell me? What if Inuyasha is waiting for a reply?_

Frantically, I began looking for my phone. I checked in my backpack, I checked in my pockets, I checked under the table. I couldn't find it no matter where I seemed to look.

"Looking for this?" Sesshomaru's voice asked,

Looking up, I saw my phone in his right hand.

"Give me." I said as I made a mad dash toward my phone.

He shifted it to his left hand as I crashed on top of him.

"What's the password?"

I grabbed at his left hand, stretching my body across his, but he held it above me and out of reach. At that time, all I could think of was getting my phone. _What if Inuyasha was waiting? What if he had replied? What did he say? Why didn't I check it before getting my food? Why didn't I keep it by my side?_

"Ahem.." Ayame cleared her throat, and I realized how weird we must have looked, sprawled on top of one another, fighting for a phone.

 _No. I needed my phone. I didn't care._

"Give it. Please." I pleaded to him.

"What's the password? I'll give it back after I check something."

I sighed, getting off of him and sitting back down. "9826." I murmured.

He sat up too, pressing those numbers in and unlocking my phone. Waiting, I watched as he opened my snapchat app.

"What are you doing?" I asked.

"Shhh. You'll see."

He began sorting through my snapchat contacts, sending everyone a picture of himself. Then he looked over to Ayame and used my phone to get her username. Seeing his phone on the table, I grabbed at it and was successful.

"Give me my phone." He said, seeing it in my hands.

I shook my head. "Give me mine back first. Then I'll give you yours."

His eyebrow arched, as if he was suspecting me for lying to him. Then he held out his right pinky. "Promise?"

Slowly, I linked pinkies with him. "Promise."

He gave me my phone and I gave him his phone. I watched as he typed in Ayame's and my usernames into his snapchat. And within a second, we both got his friend request. Although I was weary, I accepted it.

Ayame laughed. "You two are such good friends."

I ignored it as I checked my phone for any new messages. _None._ I clicked it off, looking up at Ayame and secretly shaking my head. I watched her eyes widen in understanding, a sad look come across her face, and then a slight nod.

That night however, I did get a text from Inuyasha.

 _11 PM._ I sighed. _It was late.. If only he could be by my side like how Sesshomaru was.. If only we were the ones fighting for the phone like that.. If only he was the one who had his arm around me and hugging me.._ I shook my head. _What the hell was I thinking?_ Slapping my cheeks, I got back to studying.

" _Hey_."

" _Hey,_ _I've made some new weird friends; so if you see weird things that don't seem like I'd write them, you should probably ignore it. lol_ "

" _lol wym_?"

" _This new friend I made, his name is Sesshomaru, he has a bad habit of stealing my things to post random things when I'm not paying attention._ "

" _Oh._ "

" _Yup, so just ignore anything that doesn't sound like me._ "

" _Oh. Wait, how'd he get your phone?_ "

" _I stupidly left it on the table at the dining hall._ "

" _Woooow *hugs*_ "

" _*hugs you back*_ "

" _Missed you._ "

" _I missed you too *pinches your cheeks* workaholic._ "

" _Shhhhh lol_ "

" _Can you spend today with me?_ " I asked hopefully.

" _Yeah, I'm just writing. I work at 10pm though._ "

" _urghh._ "

" _Hm?_ "

" _I just want more time with you… ish all._ "

" _Cmere. *holds out a hand*_ "

" _*takes it*_ "

" _*yanks you into my arms*_ "

" _*hugs you*_ "

" _Happy?_ "

" _...If you'd stay with me more, I'd be._ "

" _I'm sorry babe._ "

" _...It's ok._ " _But it wasn't. Not to me. I wanted him to stay longer, to stay more by my side.. But I knew his life was busy so I was respecting it._

" _Cmere._ "

" _*hugs you*_ "

" _*kisses you*_ "

" _*smiles* yay ^_^_ " _I knew I being a kid, but let me just be spoiled this once..._

" _Hm?_ "

" _*kisses you back*_ "

" _Baby._ "

" _hm?_ "

" _I love you._ "

I smiled. I loved hearing those words but I still didn't know what I could do for him..

" _Same. I love you too._ "

Looking up at the clock, I realized it was now 1 AM.

" _I'll be back, going to shower.._ " I typed back.

" _Fineeeeeee._ "

When I got back to my room, I typed " _back_ " as soon as I grabbed my phone.

" _Yay!_ "

I smiled, I loved his childish side too.

" _*leans over your right shoulder* whatcha doing?_ "

" _Making a beat atm._ "

He liked to rap, and rapping was beginning to also take up most of his time at the studio.

" _Beat? You're at the studio?_ "

" _Yeah. Work._ "

" _Oh. I see._ "

He didn't reply after that, so I figured he had gone back to the studio to rap.

Things would get busier.. For everyone, as finals slowly approached. The last exams I'd take before graduating.

* * *

Author's Note: Hey everyone, thank you very much for reading! As always, please leave your reviews on what you think about what you've read so far. Would you want to see more? Please favorite the story or feel free to hit the "follow" button for me, so you'll be notified first of any new chapters/stories. Thank you guys again!


	21. Chapter 21

Author's Note: Hey everyone, I hope you enjoy this fanfic, please let me know what you think, thanks! And no, of course I don't own Inuyasha. Enjoy!

Side note: "Normal parenthesis" means that someone is talking; _parentheses italicized_ means that it's a message/email and _parentheses italicized and underlined_ is Kagome's thoughts during that moment or her reflecting back on that scene. As always, enjoy!

* * *

 **Part 21: _Buzz_**

Hearing my phone buzz, I dove for it. _Inuyasha's text?_

It wasn't him. It was a snapchat from Sesshomaru. I sighed. _Nope. Not him._

" _Hey._ "

" _Hey."_ I wrote back.

" _Where are you now?_ "

" _In my room._ "

" _I figured. What room are you in?_ "

I had a bad problem with memorizing things. Things like names and numbers just easily slipped my mind. I got up, walking to my door and opened it. There was Sesshomaru, walking around on the first floor, and checking every name tag.

"There you are Kagome!"

He rushed over, hugging me. I was confused. _He doesn't even live in this building._

"How did you get in? You don't even live here!"

"Someone let me in on their way out. So this is your room, huh?"

He was checking out my room, the door to which I had left open when I stepped out of my room.

"Yes."

"Can I come in?"

I gestured, "go ahead."

He stepped in, taking off his shoes at the door and sat down on my bed. I lightly closed the door behind me as I followed him in.

"Did you need something?" I knew I must have sounded cold, but I was waiting for Inuyasha to text me. Something. Anything. But I had gotten nothing that day.

"Not really. I had time on my hands and thought I'd come to visit you."

"Well, welcome. It's a bit crowded, due to finals and all." I turned on the TV, sitting down on my chair.

"My room is too. You have a single?"

"Yeah."

"We should go out."

"In the middle of finals? Compared to you, I'm a busy senior if you forgot." I smiled. "Stop playing hooky and get serious."

"It's no fun to be so serious all the time." He tilted his head, checking to see what was on the TV before looking back at me, a smirk on his face. "If you want, we could go shopping? I have a car on campus and I'm dying to go out and have some fun."

"Have fun by yourself. I'm busy." I leaned against the chair. _I'm busy waiting for Inuyasha to reply.._

"What could you possibly be busy with? We need to go out."

"Finals! Finals!" I pointed at my books. "Otherwise, you want to do my papers for me?"

"If you do my exams, sure."

I turned my back to him, opening a book and starting to take down the notes. Sesshomaru moved to stand behind me, reading what I was writing. "That looks boring."

"It is." I replied, not looking up.

He suddenly grabbed my left arm, which dropped the book.

"What are you doing? Let go." I tried pulling it back but to no avail.

"Wait, wait." He held my arm with his right hand while his left hand grabbed my highlighter off my desk. He then wrote on my arm horizontally, " _Sesshomaru was here._ " When he finished, his grip lessened on my arm, to which I yanked from him.

"You're childish." I tossed the highlighter at him, to which he caught while laughing.

"Careful, I might make a note on your other arm."

"Or, you could get out and I could study."

"Alright, alright. My tour here is over. Give me a hug." _It wasn't a question, it was a demand._

I got up and hugged him anyway. When he finally left, I closed my book and put away my notes, picking up my phone to check for any messages. _None. What's taking him so long?_ I whined, putting my chin on my desk. _I miss him.. I miss our sweet moments._ I closed my eyes, remembering each and every text, remembering my responses, and how happy I had felt each time. _Who had replied last?_ I checked my phone. _I did. Then it should be his turn to reply.. What's taking him so long?_

As I was about to doze off, my phone buzzed loudly on the desk. My eyes flew open and I darted towards it again. _Inuyasha?_ Nope. It was Sesshomaru.

" _When are you going to dinner?_ "

" _Probably around 6 PM?_ " _Dinner didn't matter to me right now.. I just wanted.. No, I needed Inuyasha.._

" _Let's go together then!_ "

" _Sure! See you then._ " I put down my phone, clicking it off and went back to dozing off.

Sometime later, my phone buzzed loudly again on the desk. I opened my eyes. _How long had I been asleep? When did I fall asleep? Why was I so easily tired nowadays? Why was I not going to bed at night, but sleeping in the afternoons?_ It was like I had turned into a vampire. I looked at the clock. 5 PM. An hour before dinner.. _So it shouldn't be Sesshomaru snapchatting, right? Then, it was Inuyasha?_ I grabbed my phone. Nope. It was Ayame.

" _Hey. How are you?_ "

" _Good, how are you?_ "

" _Good! I just got out of work! Wanna meet tonight to study?_ " Ayame had gotten the server position at the dining hall recently and had been working the early shift today.

" _Sure!_ " I needed to stop focusing on him. I had studies to focus on. Slapping my cheeks, I started to pack the books I would need to read for tonight into my backpack.

At 6 PM, I met Sesshomaru in the dining hall. As usual, we put our things down and entered the cafeteria.

"Are you really sure that dude over there won't do?"

"Not interested at all." This time I didn't bother looking.

"Come on, at least look at the guy. He's a new international student and is cute."

"Then you date him."

"What about her? She's got nice boobs. And her butt is pretty small."

"Why are you checking out other girls when you have a girl?" I smirked, hitting his side. I knew I had him this time.

"I'm not. I'm loyal to my girlfriend, you know?" He looked down at the arm I had hit him with. "You washed it off?" His fingers closed around my wrist, pulling it, and me closer to to him so he could examine it.

"Obviously. I'm not walking around with that on my arm. It looks ridiculous."

"You're no fun Kagome. It's ok, I can write it on you again." He winked.

"Try it and I'll beat you up." I said half jokingly.

He shrugged. "A girl like you? But I'm pretty strong."

My mind flashed back to Inuyasha's words at Valentine's Day " _no, I'm strong_." Mentally shaking myself of the thought, I forced it to the back of my mind. _Why can't I stop thinking of him? No.. No.. Stop._

"Kagome?"

"Yes!"

"What are you thinking about? You haven't touched your food."

I looked down at my uneaten meatballs and spaghetti. "Homework. So much to do, haha so little time."

"Geez, they must have packed you with homework. You keep talking about it. Ah, I forgot a drink. Be right back."

I nodded as Sesshomaru got up and went back inside to the cafeteria. Feeling my phone suddenly buzz, I took it out of my pocket. _Inuyasha?_ No. Ayame.

" _Hey girl! 8 PM sound ok to you?_ "

" _That''s perfect. Thanks. I'll meet you at the library._ "

Sesshomaru came back, holding a glass of milk in his right hand. He sat down across from me. "You still haven't touched anything on your plate?"

"Just got a snap from Ayame." I said, twirling my fork around my spaghetti and then leaning in to take a bite.

"You guys gonna meet up later or something?"

"Homework. Why, you wanted to join us?"

He sighed. "You guys are always such good students."

I laughed. "What's wrong with that?"

He reached out to pat my head, "No wonder why people mistaken you for a freshman, you look and act like one. Aren't seniors supposed to be partying?"

"Not all seniors do that."

I watched as his phone buzzed and he reached into his pocket to read the new text.

"Who's it from?"

"This girl."

"Ooh! Your girlfriend?" I asked, biting a meatball.

"No."

"You have more than one girlfriend?" I asked while chewing on another mouthful of spaghetti.

"Don't be foolish. This girl likes me and I don't really want to reply. Don't know what to say to her. Hey, I like you as a friend? But I don't see you as a woman?"

I suddenly thought of Kikyo and Inuyasha. _He had rejected her too.. But what if she was still texting his phone? Was I the only girl with his number? What if other girls had it?_ Mentally slapping myself, I thought _No. Not the situation right now._

"Well, don't say it that way. It sounds rude. She is a woman. Maybe instead, just say that you're not interested?"

"But it's too direct. What if she's insulted?"

"Sometimes, it's better to be direct. Sever those feelings she has for you right then and there. What if your current girlfriend misunderstands your hesitations?"

"Yeah, I guess you're right..."

Finishing my meal, I smiled. "I always am."

"I hate you."

"No, you know you love me." I laughed.

"Yes, yes." He got up. "Ready to leave?"

Checking my watch, I realized I had roughly an hour left and nodded. We walked back to the dorm halls together. Although he didn't live in the same hall, he walked with me because he lived across from me.

* * *

"Hey!" Ayame looked up as I opened the door to the private study room.

"Hey! Did you wait long?"

"No, I just got here."

"Great." I sat across from her, laying a textbook open on the table. As I started reading, she asked, "How's the boy?"

"No response yet."

"How many days has it been?"

"Roughly? I would say 3 going onto 4. But he usually replies on the 4th day."

"Endless loop again?"

"Probably.. Or he's busy. When he's not busy, it seems like he's always depressed, causing the endless loops.. Or work will cause him to be depressed even more." I sighed.

"You're doing that a lot lately."

"Waiting?"

"Sighing like that. Are you stressed too?"

I shook my head. "I'm sharing his burdens, although he doesn't tell me his burdens.. I feel like I'm falling into a depressed mood lately. Whenever I hear a buzz, I keep thinking that it's him. But it's Sesshomaru or you contacting me. Oh! Not that that's a bad thing! Don't get me wrong. I'm glad to be contacted by you guys and all… But it's just not from him.. Not from the one I want to hear from the most."

"Not from the one you want the most. I get that." She looked up at the ceiling. "What to do, what to do?"

"You know the worst part?"

"What?"

"The worst part is that I don't know what he's doing during these times. I'm worried about him hurting himself.. In any way. But he doesn't listen when I talk to him about it. Like, he'll admit the reason that he's acting like that on a certain day. Whether it was his family, his work, or just feeling depressed in general, he is honest and tells me the reason. But when I try giving a solution, that's a whole different story. It is so complicated."

"Someone suffering from suicidal thoughts often are, Kagome. There's times when he's doubting himself and the world around him. Those drugs don't help. It will help him in that moment to feel better, but the effects just wear off after some time. And when they're suicidal, sometimes, you might never get that explanation on why he's depressed. And you'll have to deal with that. All I can say is, just keep supporting him on. Keep encouraging him."

I nodded. "I wanted to be the one by his side. But there's no give and take without a price... So, what price will I have to pay to make him stray from his path of self-destruction..?"

The silence hung in the air for what to be ages before I shifted my eyes back onto my book, absentmindedly turning a page.

* * *

On the 4th day, Inuyasha sent in a text.

" _Hey._ "

" _Hey._ "

" _Wyd?_ "

" _Nothing right now. Are you ok?_ "

" _Yeah._ "

" _Are you eating well? Taking care of yourself? Taking care of your body?_ "

" _Stop nagging me._ "

 _Although I knew I was being repetitive, I couldn't help but ask him those questions. I couldn't help but worry about him. I knew I wasn't expressing myself correctly. I was in love with him but I had so much trouble expressing my love. I was afraid of saying something wrong, it being misunderstood, and taken the wrong way. But if I didn't say anything, then that would also be misunderstood.._

"... _I'm sorry, I was worried. It's been 4 days.. Where were you?_ "

" _What did you think was happening?_ "

 _I didn't know. Perhaps I over thought? Perhaps I overreacted?_

" _I didn't know what was happening. That's why I was worried. Perhaps I over thought it..?_ "

" _I didn't come here to be nagged, so will you stop it?_ "

" _...Then I won't nag you._ "

" _Thanks._ "

" _Mhm._ "

" _Love me._ "

Our conversations would increasingly become more and more complicated. Sometimes it was positive, other times it was not.

" _I keep getting mistaken as a freshman! It's annoying._ " I wrote to him one day.

" _Haha cute._ "

" _Is it?_ "

" _I don't care about other people's opinions of you. It doesn't matter. Only my opinion should matter and I think you're beautiful as you are._ "

" _Then you don't mind that I look young?_ "

" _No haha_ "

 _Remembering how he was taking longer and longer to answer, I had to confirm something that had been on my mind for a while._

" _You said before that you talk to other girls while gaming. And that you've let them know that you have a girlfriend.. I'm curious.. Do you have other girl's phone numbers?_ "

" _Babe, the ones saved on my phone all have boyfriends._ "

 _So he did._ My phone suddenly buzzed. A snapchat from Sesshomaru.

" _Where are you? What are you doing now?_ "

" _Busy. Can we talk tomorrow?_ "

" _Aww.. Sure._ "

Replying to Inuyasha, I wrote back, " _Oh._ "

" _If it bothers you, I'll remove them._ "

Remembering what I had said about keeping busy during depression, I urged him not to delete the numbers. I didn't really like the idea, but if he had more company by his side, more people to support him; then what was the harm in that?

* * *

Author's Note: Hey everyone, thank you very much for reading! As always, please leave your reviews on what you think about what you've read so far. Would you want to see more? Please favorite the story or feel free to hit the "follow" button for me, so you'll be notified first of any new chapters/stories. Thank you guys again!


	22. Chapter 22

Author's Note: Hey everyone, I hope you enjoy this fanfic, please let me know what you think, thanks! And no, of course I don't own Inuyasha. Enjoy!

Side note: "Normal parenthesis" means that someone is talking; _parentheses italicized_ means that it's a message/email and _parentheses italicized and underlined_ is Kagome's thoughts during that moment or her reflecting back on that scene. As always, enjoy!

* * *

 **Part 22: Going Crazy**

" _Will you forgive me, no matter what mistakes I make in this first time love?_ " I asked Inuyasha one night.

" _No. There's one thing I won't forgive you for._ "

" _What's that?_ "

" _Cheating._ "

" _Well obviously. I wouldn't forgive you either in a situation like that._ "

While waiting for his reply, I fell asleep holding onto my phone.

"Where's that brick phone of yours?" Sesshomaru asked one night at dinner.

"Hidden away for now." _It was actually in my pocket. I just didn't want Sesshomaru to take my phone hostage again._

"No fun." He pouted.

"I'm a serious person, and you should know that by now." I finished with my dinner, bringing my tray up to be emptied.

When I came back to grab my things, I noticed my keys were missing. Checking under the table and in my bag, I still couldn't find it. Then, it clicked.

"Sesshomaru, give it."

"Give what? Did you lose something?"

"Don't try to be cute with me. Just hand it over. I gotta go to the library."

"Meeting with Ayame to study again? You guys are doing a lot lately."

"We want to pass our finals, nothing wrong with that."

"Nothing wrong with it. Until it becomes your obsession."

"Are you giving it or not?"

"Can I have your phone?"

"No."

"Then no keys."

I grabbed his phone on the table. "Give it or I'll tell that girl you secretly like her too." I smirked. I knew I had him this time.

"Alright, alright." He handed me my keys, and I gave him back his phone.

"Now, was that so hard?" I laughed as I walked with him outside. I started to turn left when I felt a tug on my backpack.

"At least hug me before you go."

Turning around, I hugged him around the waist briefly before letting go. "See you later!" I called back as I left.

* * *

"Hey!"

"Oh hey!" I slipped into the room as Ayame greeted me.

"The boy? The love boat?"

"It's been nearly a week now.. It's the longest time he's ever not contacted me..."

"Were you the last one to text him?"

"Yes."

"Why not contact him now?"

"Maybe he's busy? I don't want to disturb him while he's busy.. So I decided that I'll practice being patient."

"I see. Are you also testing him to see how long it takes for him to reply?"

"Yes and no. But I know that he has a lot on his plate.. I don't want to add to his stress."

"But not saying anything.. Is it alright?"

"Perhaps not, but I feel like because we love each other, we'll be able to understand each other. Even without speaking for awhile..."

"Have you had any face-to-face video chats? Maybe you can skype him?"

"um.. I don't know.. What if he doesn't want to see the real me?" To be honest, every time I had thought of seeing him in person, the real life version of him, I got so... nervous. I didn't know why, but it would become so hard to breathe. All types of knots would constrict my stomach as I imagined the possible scenarios of us meeting up. Why was I so nervous? How could I possibly meet him when my body reacted this way?

"Perhaps start with just pictures then? And build up to video chatting? Does he have a snapchat? You could record videos on there and send to him?"

"He has one. But last time I asked, he said he doesn't use it much... so I just dropped the topic.." I was being hesitant again.. Argh! When did I become this hesitant?

"Oh.. But he wants to meet the real you someday."

I knew that. I wanted it too. But... when would this nervousness die down? "How's your end of the love boat, Ayame?" I needed a change in topic.

"...Still working on the letter."

"Ah, so now we're both in the boat, but paddling in the wrong directions? We'll just go in circles this way!"

She laughed, understanding my joke. "At least we have homework to fill the leak in the boat for now."

I nodded. Thank goodness for homework and studying indeed. Otherwise I'd probably be glued to my phone, sensitive to every buzz. The both of us resumed working, hoping that by doing so, we would make our goals of passing our exams possible.

"Sometimes.. I just wish you'd be able to be by my side 24/7. Guiding me on what to say and what not to say in a relationship. I just keep feeling like what I'm saying is all wrong, or it's being misunderstood."

"You have to communicate with him. You guys need to work it out by yourselves, but I'll try to help in any way I can." Ayame said.

"True." We had reached our dorm rooms by this time. As I stepped into my room, I checked my phone again. _Nothing. Nothing again._ _How many times had I checked it by now?_ Putting my phone down, I headed towards the showers. _Are you really going to let me wait for you forever? If this continues… I really can't be bothered with you anymore.._ I sighed, stepping under the shower head, feeling the hot water cascading down my body. _That's a lie. I'm nervous about you.. I'll try to not think about you, but when I get a text from you, I can't help but talk to you.. So we'll talk and I'll smile again. Only you know when you're looping, making me upset, but you act like nothing's wrong._

I turned, letting the water engulf my naked back. _I'm going crazy. I must be. Perhaps I've loved too unreasonably.. I've forgotten that these things can never happen.. I've started mixing reality with my dreams.. No, my beautiful fantasies. Why can't you share some of your burdens with me? Why do you have to hold everything in? Why can't I deteriorate in your place?_ But I knew deep inside that even with his loops and spirals, I never regretted falling in love with him. _How many times must your fate have been toyed with by other people to become the current you? To become so unstable?_

I slowly started remembering his every text. His cute whine, the cute " _noooo_ " or " _ugh_ " when I announced that I had to leave for short periods of time to either eat, shower or do homework.. How those indicated how much he wanted me to stay by his side.. How those started decreasing more and more now as compared to when we first started dating.. How I had broken up with him twice.. And on the second time, he was so exhausted. Exhausted by me running away each time we had a fight, exhausted by me running from reality, from him. And how he had said " _I'm not going to chase after you anymore. You've started expecting that after each time you run away. I'm tired of chasing after you. That's not how relationships work..._ "

 _Was he really not going to chase after me anymore?_ Leaning back to let the hot water stream down from my head to my chin, I realized one thing. _It doesn't matter if he doesn't chase after me.. He must have felt like he needed to because of the 3 years that he's already been doing it for.. Is it my turn to chase after him? But how? I've never liked anyone like this before.. This seriously.. How do I express my love? How do I convince him to stay by my side? How do I convince him that I need him as much as he needs me? How can I help him off that dangerous path to be happy with me? My words just seem to be like wind blowing through his ears..._

As I stepped out of the shower and went back to my room, I prepared for the next day of classes and fell asleep as soon as my head touched the pillow.

* * *

While eating dinner with Ayame, I heard my phone buzz. Looking down, the new message said:

" _Hey I know you've been busy with finals and all. Just wanna say keep working. I'll do the same on my end. Love you._ "

"Is it from him?"

"How... How did you know?"

"You just suddenly smiled. What did he say?"

I showed her the phone, watching as she leaned in to read it. "Oh my god! That's so sweet!"

I beamed, nodding. "Ah! I should reply.. Oh... Um.. How should I reply?"

"Tell him how you feel about that text? Haha calm down first."

" _Hey this text made my day! I was hoping you'd text me all week...Lately, I've been stepping back to see if you'd text me first..and I'm glad you did after 5 days. Anyway this last week of college has been pretty busy, being my last week before graduation and all. I've missed you._ " Turning the phone back to Ayame, I asked her, "Like this?"

"That's perfect. Send it."

"Sent!"

" _I knew you were stressed I just let you focus on your grades. I missed you too baby._ " His reply read.

" _Although I was, I wanted to spend more time with you. Don't worry anymore about "giving me space" or "letting me focus," because, really, having a conversation with you, while I'm going through everything, is what I'd prefer._ " Seeing Ayame read the conversation over my shoulder now made me feel calmer. "Do you think I'm coming on too strongly?"

"No. You're just being honest. I think that's fine." She whispered.

" _I got you._ " His reply read.

"He understands! This conversation is getting somewhere.. He's listening to me." I grinned, putting the phone close to my chest.

"See? The only strength that can overcome all obstacles is love.. I believe you will definitely be able to defeat the demon in him."

" _Thanks. How has your week been?_ " Curious to know what had happened in the week that we didn't talk to one another, I asked him about it.

" _Busy as hell. Stressful but busy._ "

" _Same. Do you need to talk about anything? Rant about anything?_ " _Could he share his burdens with me?_

" _Nah, I've been steady knowing that were working hard. It made me work more._ "

" _aww."_

" _hm?_ "

" _It's cute ^_^ Are you busy now too?_ "

" _A little, what about you?_ "

" _Just eating dinner. What are you doing?_ "

" _I'm at the studio._ "

We had reconciled, and it was as if we had never left each other. Ayame sat back in her chair, getting her own texts from her boyfriend.

* * *

It was nearly 4 hours later when Ayame and I were studying in the library that we received snapchats from Sesshomaru.

" _Help me._ "

" _What's wrong?_ "

" _I think I'm in love with someone else._ "

I looked over to Ayame, who looked up at the same time.

"Did you get a snap… " We asked at the same time, trailing off when we realized that we had gotten the same messages.

" _Who is it?_ " I typed back, getting more and more curious by the minute.

" _It's…_ "

* * *

Author's Note: Hey everyone, thank you very much for reading! As always, please leave your reviews on what you think about what you've read so far. Would you want to see more? Please favorite the story or feel free to hit the "follow" button for me, so you'll be notified first of any new chapters/stories. Thank you guys again!


	23. Chapter 23

Author's Note: Hey everyone, I hope you enjoy this fanfic, please let me know what you think, thanks! And no, of course I don't own Inuyasha. Enjoy!

Side note: "Normal parenthesis" means that someone is talking; _parentheses italicized_ means that it's a message/email and _parentheses italicized and underlined_ is Kagome's thoughts during that moment or her reflecting back on that scene. As always, enjoy!

* * *

 **Part 23: Love Only In Moderation**

"Have you tried video-chatting with him yet?" Ayame asked as she sat down in the common room, opening up her textbooks and laptop.

"... um not yet… However, we've started talking to each other on Facebook.. It's not a huge step, but we're both making some progress. This way, we're communicating as each other and not using text messages."

"Yeah, you've seen each other's pictures on Facebook, right?"

"Yeah… Although it still seems weird to me. Like I'm on his Facebook! I don't want to turn into one of 'those' girls." I sat in the sofa opposite her, opening my laptop but not touching any of the programs on my computer.

"'Those' girls? What do you mean?"

"You know? The ones who snoop through their boyfriend's posts and phone? I want to give him privacy. And obviously I don't have his phone to snoop through anyways, but his Facebook posts are out there and in the open. Isn't it weird if I'm also the one going through them?"

"Not necessarily. He would have made those posts private or public anyway. Seeing them doesn't necessarily mean that you're snooping through his stuff." She started typing.

"Still… It's weird to see his posts in my news-feed. I just wonder whether or not I can read them." _Whether or not it's appropriate for me to read them._

"I mean, it's your call. If you don't want to read the posts, then don't. If you do, then by all means, do it. Just because you guys are dating, it doesn't mean that you can't see the other's stuff."

 _Perhaps she was right. I mean, he did see my posts before.._

"Yeah, ok. I can see where you're coming from.. On the other hand, what about Sesshomaru? What advice can we give him? I'm not exactly an expert on this subject yet."

"Well, I think that if he really likes her, he should break up with his current girlfriend. If it's just a temporary feeling on the other hand, then he has to learn how to let go and treasure his current girlfriend. And if he just doesn't know, he needs to break up with his girlfriend, and spend time, alone, to think about what he really wants. He's just hurting both girls by being indecisive."

Amazed, I slowly started clapping my hands. "Amazing! That's the expert in love right there.. Wow, how is it that you know exactly what to say, like every time?"

Smiling, she flipped her hair over her shoulder. "Thank you, thank you very much! I try."

Flipping my notes open, I paused to re-read a particular section.

"Les Deux Amanz"- The Two Lovers

This story is about a girl, who's father promised her hand in marriage to the one who could carry her over the mountain without taking a stop. The pair fall in love. The girl then devises a plan to have him drink a potion to increase his strength to win, but the boy refuses to drink it as he wants to win by his own strength. Ultimately making it to the top, the boy falls down dead due to his exhaustion and the girl dies of sadness.

Lesson: Love only in moderation..

I looked up from my notes on Marie de France. _Love only in moderation? Didn't being a human being mean that we could have flaws and be imperfect?_ _Yet, all of her stories usually ended tragically because the couple had no moderation, and selfish love always ended tragically.._

Picking up my phone, I re-read Sesshomaru's last snapchat message.

" _Kaguya_ "

" _The junior?_ "

" _Yes. I don't know what to do. Can I come over and talk to you about it?_ "

I didn't know what to say. He was asking the wrong person. I just felt.. Bad. For his girlfriend. To the guy who preached about loyalty in love.. This was… unexpected.

" _You're asking the wrong person.. I don't know a thing about what to do.. Dunno if I can help you out. Take some time to think on it more. If you really decide you like her.. Break up with your girlfriend then.. It's only fair to her._ "

There was just such a fine line for cheating.

* * *

In the days to come, Sesshomaru would choose to break up his relationship for Kaguya.

"Thanks for your advice."

"I didn't really do anything.. But, as long as you're happy."

"Thanks, I truly am." Sesshomaru moved his spoon around his cereal as I spotted Kanna glancing over at me from across the dining hall.

"Don't look now. My old roommate is looking over here."

"Oh?" He turned around, as if someone famous had entered the building. "Where?"

"Hey! I said not to turn around.. Is it really ok?"

"What is?" He looked back at me.

"Hanging out with me, she'll hate you, you know?"

"Kanna?"

I nodded, looking down at my omelet.

"Then let her. I don't care."

Yeah, he was still the ever easy-going Sesshomaru that I knew. "Ok, you said so, don't regret it later." I said while ignoring Kanna's continued glances over at my direction.

Later that night..

" _Hey_."

" _Hey._ "

" _Wyd?_ "

I placed a bookmark to save my spot before texting back, " _Studying. You?_ "

" _Chilling._ "

" _Are you ok?_ " I was suddenly reminded of the last time he was not feeling mentally there.

" _Yeah *hugs your back* Why?_ "

" _...Just thinking._ "

" _Of?_ "

" _What you said last time.. Of "honestly no" that you didn't care about how I felt that day.._ " Perhaps I was being too sensitive?

" _...I'm sorry._ "

" _If you really are.. Then promise you'll think of my feelings next time…?_ " I was hoping he would agree.. But I was anxious of his answer.

" _Of course. I promise._ "

" _Pinky swear? *holds out my pinkie*_ "

" _*locks our pinkies* I promise. Did it hurt when I said that?_ "

" _*nods* mhm. It's alright, I knew you were going through a tough time._ "

" _It's not ok. Where? Where did it hurt?_ "

Deciding to be honest with him, I typed back, " _*pats my chest* heart…_ "

" _*kisses your chest* Anywhere else?_ "

He was being so incredibly sweet... Was he truly feeling better?

" _*smiles, shaking my head* I'm fine now, really. Are you really ok?_ "

" _*smiles* yes silly. *hugs you* we should cook together in the future._ "

" _Eh? But I'm not that good of a cook…_ "

" _Then I'll teach you how to cook._ "

I liked the sound of that. Images of us trying recipes and play fighting in the kitchen slowly popped into my mind. If we were cooking, we would stand side by side, tasting the food together and debating on the right amount of flavor. If we were handling flour, I would put some on his face. If we were washing the dishes, we would probably start a water war, splashing each other until we were drenched. On and on, the possibilities seemed endless.

" _mhm. Sounds good._ " I said

" _Double good._ "

" _Triple good._ "

" _Dunno what comes after that *yanks you into my arms*_ "

I laughed, he was just so cute! " _*Is surprised* eh?_ "

" _Do you hear that? The sound of my heart beating?_ "

" _*nods* yeah?_ "

" _It beats only for you._ _I only want you...its been like that..since i was way young remember?_ "

" _*smiles, pressing my ear against you to hear it* really?_ " I asked, although I knew his answer.

" _Yes, really. I love you._ "

" _*smiles* I love you too."_

* * *

It was finally time, my last exam.. I scribbled furiously away on the paper at why Marie de France's Loving In Moderation theory was too old-fashioned, so it would never work in the modern-day world. How couples now would probably reject her theory all together, if only just to be with each other in the moment.

Looking up from my desk, I got up to hand in the final exam of my college career. _"Well.. I did it.. I'm now a senior one step closer to graduation.."_

I walked out the door and down the stairs, leaving the building to hike back to my dorm room. Crossing the street, I noticed a red car that had just pulled into the lower level parking lot. _Hmm.. It looks like they just finished their finals as well.._

The passenger side door swung wide open, as a young man stepped out.

My mouth dropped, as my eyes became fixated on him. _No.. It can't be.. It can't be him.. Inuyasha?_

* * *

Author's Note: Hey everyone, thank you very much for reading! Sorry for the long wait, I've been pretty busy and as a result, neglected this story.. I hope my readers are still with me.. Anyway, please leave your reviews on what you think about what you've read so far. Would you want to see more? Please favorite the story or feel free to hit the "follow" button for me, so you'll be notified first of any new chapters/stories. Thank you guys again!


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